


Eternal

by LiveOnADream



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Anti-Klaus, Anti-Tyler, F/M, Family, Friendship, Love, Minor Bonnie and Jeremy, Minor Damon & Elena, Pics, Roadtrip, Slow Build, Stefan & Caroline, Tattoos, Wedding, best friends to more, depressing talk, eternal, past elena/stefan relationship, soulmate, steroline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-01-26 14:56:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 39,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1692440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveOnADream/pseuds/LiveOnADream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'She saved me.' - Stefan Salvatore</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

‘I love you.’

I stop, my hand already on the doorknob and breathe in deeply trying to control my emotions. I turn and find her standing at the bottom of the staircase, tears still leaving tracks on her cheeks. I have to fight to keep myself from walking back and pulling her into my arms. ‘I know.’ My grasp doesn’t loosen on the doorknob because I know that this isn’t an exclamation of a changed mind, her decision is still the same. She's simply still trying to reassure me of her motives.

‘It’s not forever Stefan.’ She cries again. I know she is trying to reassure herself this time. ‘I just need to learn how to be a vampire without worrying if I’m going to pull you over a cliff. And he’s the only person that can show me how to do that.’

‘I know.’ I appease because I understand why she can't see it for what it is, not now, not when her world is already falling to pieces around her. I give her one last encouraging smile, wanting nothing more than to get as far away from everything Mystic Falls, as possible. I pull the door open but before I can take even a step she’s in front of me, her arms around my neck.

‘I’m sorry.’ I hug her back for as long as I can before I start to pray for a stake to drive through my own heart.

‘Goodbye Elena.’ And then I’m gone.

That was five years ago.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a call a week earlier that has me standing where I am now. A call begging me for the hundredth time to come to see her graduate. 

‘Stefan Salvatore, if you don’t come I swear your best friend card is going to be officially revoked.’ 

I know she didn’t mean it, especially since she had just moments earlier been joking about how next time she goes to college she want's me to come with her. Still I knew she wanted me here for this. She’d accomplished the one thing she'd been working her entire life for. So despite the jokes I knew it was important to her. Still. 

‘There’s probably going to be tons of other people there for you.’ 

I try to sound as casual as possible but she catches the underline question in my words and the silence is deafening. I try to go on as if I don’t know what she’s thinking. As if she doesn't know that the prospect of seeing Elena again causes every nerve in my body to scream run!

'I’m just kidding. Of course I’ll be there.' 

And after a beat or two she lets it go.

So now here I stand in front of The Boarding House, willing myself to walk up the drive. I listen for any indication that there is anybody home and pull out my phone in relief when I'm met with silence. 

'Are you here yet?' She doesn't even say hello. 

'I'm standing outside The Boarding House.' I wince against the glare of the sun as I look up at the huge house. I hear a door shut through the phone. 

'Why are you standing outside?' She asks and even if she doesn't already know the answer, my silence is telling. She sighs and I hear a car door slam. 'She's not there Stefan.' There's a twinge of irritation in her voice.

'Who?' I ask with blatantly false casualty then follow it up with an equally tense laugh. 'I know. I checked.'

'Ease dropping? So beneath you.' There's scolding in her tone and I'm effectively shamed. 'She's with Bonnie at another dress fitting. Apparently her train is to long or something and she's freaking out so Jeremy asked her to go with her.'

'And where's Damon?' It's easier to ask about my brother. 

She laugh's. 'I don't know out kicking little kid's probably.' I smile. 'I'm coming to get you. And before you say anything we haven't hung out in like two month's! There's no argument that you can make that you'll win so just give up now.'

Laughing, I start walking in the opposite direction of the house. 'Where are we going?'

'Hmm well we can go to the grill' She cuts me off before I can come up with any lame excuses. 'or there's this bar near school that has good music.'

'That sounds good.'

'Cool. OK I'll see you in ten.' 

'Minutes?'

'Bye.' She sings before hanging up on me.

Sometimes I see little thing's in her, thing's that reminded me so much of Lexie that it hurts. But the bigger thing's, thing's she says or does, they are just so uniquely Caroline that I'm reminded that she is a different person completely. It's in those moment's that I'm aware of how lucky I am to have been given not one but two amazing women for a best friend.  
I wait the fifteen minutes it takes her to get here standing in the shadows of the woods. When she pulls up she lifts an eyebrow in question.   
I climb into the passenger seat and she turns down the radio.

'Creep much?' Before I can come up with an answer she has me wrapped in a hug. 'Ugh I've missed you!'

I smile and wrap my arms around her. 'I've missed you too.' We pull apart and she puts the car in drive. 'So ten minutes huh?'

'Oh don't be such a baby. Who were you hiding from?'

'I wasn't hiding.' I respond a bit embarrassed. 

She laughs while turning the radio off completely. 'Right, so it was just the warm cozy feeling that had you sulking in the shadows?'

'As a matter of fact yes. I've lived in California for the last three years. I've missed nature.'

'Well you know if the sunshine and sand aren't doing it for you anymore you can always come back home.' Her tone is light but I know there's earnest beneath it.

'This – isn't my home anymore.' I answer tentatively.

Instead of berating me like I know she want's to, she chooses to change the subject. 'They know your here you know.' I must not be hiding my hurt as well as I thought because she continues on with a hint of guilt in her blue eyes. 'I mean they know your coming, not that your here. Otherwise they would have been there.' 

I shake my head. 'It's fine. I wasn't expecting some huge welcome back Stefan party or anything.' She shoots me another guilty look and I cant help but laugh. 'I'm serious, it's fine. I'm here for you Caroline nobody else.' She looks as if she's about to cry so I hurry on. 'So are you excited?'

'About what?' She asks after clearing her throat.

'About what? Your graduating from Collage in three days!'

She shrugs. 'Not really.' There's an emotionlessness in her voice that wasn't there a millisecond ago. 

'What's wrong?'

'Nothing. Why?'

'You just don't sound as thrilled about it as you did a few days ago.' She shrugs. 'What is it?'

'Nothing.' 

An emotionless Caroline always makes me feel hopeless. 'Tell me.'

'It's just finally hit me is all. I mean all this time I've thought it was this huge thing but I see it now It was pointless. All of it.'

I sigh. 'Care'

She cut's me off and fire is back in her eyes. 'No I'm serious Stefan! What good did it do me? I mean Graduation is supposed to be this huge thing before you go out into the world and get this amazing job and become something. At least that's what I always wanted it to be. But look at me!' Tears are shimmering in her eye's now. 'I'm supposed to be twenty-two years old and I'm still walking around in a seventeen year old body! I can't exactly go off and take the world by storm.' I'm at a loss for words. How do I tell her she's wrong when I know that she's right?

'You can always move to LA with me. Nobody there looks their age.' I fear that my attempt at a joke will cause more harm than good, but am relieved when after a second she let's out a melodic laugh. 

'God I've missed you.' And just like that, she's back to her cheery self.

 

She pulls into the parking lot of a bar called Sal's and cuts the engine. Gives me a curious look when I don't move to get out. 'What's wrong?'

'I just want to say something.' She turns in her seat to face me. 'What you've accomplished is amazing Caroline so be proud of yourself. I am.' Despite the smile on her face I know she isn't convinced and I sigh. ' And second, I was serious about only coming here for you. I didn't want my being here to be a big deal.' Off of her questioning look I laugh and tap my ear once. She rolls her eyes dramatically and lets out a frustrated growl.

'You couldn't have even pretended to be surprised? How did you know?'

Laughing I follow suit as she gets out of the car. 'I know you about as well you know me. '

She tosses her head back in exasperation.' It was the grill thing right? I knew I should have put up more of a fight!'

I don't have the heart to be upset with her because I know her own is in the right place. So to give her a break I point behind her at the bar window. 'And I saw Matt walk by when we pulled up.' 

She stomps her foot in irritation. 'I'm going to kill him!' Linking her arm through mine we make our way toward the entrance. 'But I was at least a little believable right?' I laugh and nod even though my nerves are shot to hell. 'Hmm maybe I will go back to LA with you. I can be a famous actress!' She tosses her arm dramatically while giggling and doing a periotte. The purity in her laugh makes me briefly forget what awaits me inside. She stops just outside the door and I know she can see the panic on my face. 'OK stop. It's only awkward if you let it be.' I nod and try to get pumped up enough to feel as confident as she sounds. 'I've got your back, you can do this.'

I let out a pointless breath and nod. Her arm slips back through mine and she pulls me through the door. 

The first voice I hear is Matt's, he's standing just inside the door with an apologetic smile on his face. 'Sorry.'

Her eyes narrow playfully for the briefest of a moment before she shakes her head. 'He knew anyway.'

He laughs before shaking my hand and pulling me into a hug. 'Hey man.' 

I'm surprised by the gesture for a second, neither of us are exactly the hugging type. 'Hey.' It's only after we pull apart that I notice the petite red head standing behind him. He laughs and pulls her forward.

'This is my girlfriend Veronica. V this is Stefan.' 

She smiles and holds out her hand. 'It's nice to finally meet you.' 

'It's a pleasure to meet you Veronica.' 

Her hand drops from mine and entwines with Matt's. 'I was starting to think you didn't exists.'

We all laugh before Matt's gaze fall's over my shoulder. Fully expecting who is behind me I take another useless breath before turning. 

'Hello brother.' The smirk that I've known since childhood is in place but I can see that it isn't meeting his eye's. 

'Damon.' I step forward and catch us both by surprise with my embrace. 

There is a seconds pause before his arms move up and embrace me back. 'It's been too long.'

I pull back suddenly uncomfortable. I smile and his eye's are searching mine trying to decipher my next move. I feel the tips of Caroline's fingers brush the back of my hand and the tension in my shoulders ease. I smile and give a nod. 'It has. Luckily we have eternity to catch up.' My joke seems to knock him off-kilter yet again. Obviously he'd been expecting an entirely different meeting, which given certain circumstances I can't really blame him. He say's nothing more as Bonnie steps forward, her hand linked with Jeremy's. She let's it go as she reaches up to hug me. There's no hello or welcome back, just a smile that light's her eye's and has my own widening a bit. She stand's on the tips of her toes and wraps her arms around my neck. 'Hi.' I know I sound confused by her greeting and she laugh's lightly.

'You're different.' I'm left puzzled by the whispered statement as she pulls away and Jeremy step's forward. 

'Jeremy.' He smiles and shakes my hand before pulling me into a quick hug much like Matt had. 

'Welcome home man.' 

Again I'm left with a disconcerting feeling but still I smile. 'Thank you.' I glance around the group of people, Damon is now sitting at the bar with a scotch in his hand. Veronica murmer's something to Matt then lean's up and kisses him on the cheek before walking over and taking a seat beside him. I watch with curiosity as she order's a drink of her own but nether of them speak. The scene seems so familiar. Alaric. The thought has me remembering that there's somebody missing. I turn back to where Damon had been standing and find her sitting at a table alone, staring at me. I watch her for a moment, transfixed by the sight of her. I'd imagined it would feel different, seeing her again. Like it did the night I left. Instead I find myself feeling relieved. Relieved that it didn't hurt anymore. My nerves fall away and we seem to sigh with relief simultaneously. She smile's and so do I. She get's up and walk's over still tentative in her movement's but I suspect that has less to due with me and more to due with the six set's of eye's staring at us. She step's easily into my arm's.

'Hi.' It's simple and it's enough. 

I smile into her hair. 'Hi.'

'Wonderful. Not that we've got that all done with' We pull apart and Damon is standing beside Bonnie, a tray holding eight glasses and a bottle of scotch held at level with his head. Veronica silently returns to her place beside Matt and slide's her hand into his. He balances the tray in the air with one hand and smile's the way he does when he is uncomfortable. 'let's drink.' 

Everyone is quiet, not knowing how to respond. I take a step toward him and pat him on the back with my own smile still in place. 'You know Damon I think that's the best idea you've ever had.' My eye's meet Caroline's for a second and she smile's proudly. I gesture to the table where Elena had been sitting and look around. 'Shall we?'


	3. Chapter 3

Three hours later and I'm standing at the bar waiting for my drink. The place is considerably fuller now that the sun has gone down so it's taking longer then usual for the bar tend to return. It's starting to grate on my nerves when I feel somebody slide into the seat behind me. I can feel his stare burning into the back of my head so I turn.

'Damon.' I can't hide my amusement at his behavior, I've really actually missed him, I'm a cocky uncaring bad-ass attitude and all. He narrow's his eyes as he brings his glass to his lips. 

'I don't like it.'

'Like what?' It's then that the brunette bartender slides my glass in front of me and I take a drink without missing a beat.

He's still watching me with curiosity in his eye's. 'You leave without a word. Ignore everyone but Blondie - of all people, for five years and then show up here with this whole new non-broody un-Stefan like attitude acting like you've just been gone for the weekend. You're too calm, I don't like it.'

I laugh for what feel's like the millionth time since walking through the door. 'Oh come on big brother.' I slap him on the back. 'Haven’t you always been the one telling me I need to learn how to relax?'

He doesn’t look convinced, if anything he look's even more curious then before. 'You'll forgive me for being a bit apprehensive. Unlike everyone else here' He gestures with his drink around the bar indicating our scattered group of friends. 'I've seen what happens when you relax a little too much. Without the help of Klaus' compulsion of course.' 

It hit's me then, why he's been staring at me all night. He's worried. Instantly I feel guilty. 'I'm not that person anymore Damon.'

'Really?'

'Yeah. Really.' With a sigh I slide down into the seat behind me. 'Look, I'm sorry for leaving the way I did and for not calling.' This is one of many conversation's I've been dreading having since the moment Caroline brought up my coming back. 'Thing's were … what they were and I wasn't strong enough to be here.' His bravado falls and there is pure worry in his eyes. 'But that was then, I'm fine now I promise you.'

'Are you' I know where his question is going and I quickly shake my head.

'No. Not for awhile now anyway.'

'How long is awhile?'

I inhale sharply. 'About four and a half years, give or take a month or two.'

He nod's. 'So after you left?'

'Yeah.' Apparently we're both equally unsettled by the topic because simultaneously we take a drink. 'It was hard for the first few weeks after I left. I was in a pretty messed up place and one day I just – something snapped and I killed the first person I saw. Which happened to be the maid at the hotel I was living in.'

'Then you just stopped?' He doesn’t believe me. 

I stare down into my glass for a moment then shake myself. I can feel her eye's on me and I'm reminded that I'm not that person anymore. Bonnie's words ring in my ear's and I think I understand them now. I'm different. No.'

'How long?' I know what he's really asking, how many? 

'A few month's.' I shake my head. 'One night I was out – hunting and I uh' It's a struggle to say the next words. 'I found these two boy's, brother's, in the park playing football. Couldn't have been more then fifteen and sixteen. I uh' 

He understands and takes another drink. Nobody knows the guilt I carry with me the way he does and only he has ever really understood why I need it. Because like he said, he knows what happens when I relax a little to much, when I start to not care.  
I decide not to tell him that the oldest of the boy's had the same crystal blue eye's as him and that I killed the younger one first just to see the heart being ripped from your chest pain in the older boys eyes. He doesn’t need to know that in my head I was hurting him, not a sixteen year old boy. 

'After, I had a kind of break down and I guess I called Caroline. I still don't really remember much from before she showed up.' 

I glance over my shoulder and she's staring back at us with a small encouraging smile on her face. Then she turns back to Elena who was apparently also listening. She holds my gaze a moment longer before shifting her own over to Damon then back to Caroline. I turn back to my brother and I see in his eyes what I saw in her's, guilt. I choose not to comment on it now and we share an uncomfortable smile.

'So you called Blondie and she came. What'd she do? Lock you up in a basement for the last few years?'

I shake my head. I know she isn't listening anymore and I know she won't let Elena either. Because, eavesdropping is so beneath her. I laugh at my own joke before answering. 'No. She was just, there. No judgment. We just talked about everything and I don't know – she saved me.' I shrug, unhappy with my inability to put what she'd done for me to justice.

He seems surprised though and there's a long moment before he says anything. 'And that's it? You talked?'

I'm confused by his tone. 'What do you mean?' It takes me a moment to understand. Oh. 'It's not like that Damon.' 

'Of course it isn't.' His tone is mocking and even though I know better, I grow instantly irritated.

'It isn't.' My voice hardens just a bit and he hears it, seems to have been searching for it. He want's me to snap, not completely but enough for him to see that part of the old me is still inside. Dick. I take a breath, the slow inhale and exhale isn't necessary but cathartic Focusing my attention on it makes me forget for however briefly about whatever is on my mind. When I open my eyes he looks both confused and amused. I'm calmer now. 'It isn't like that between Caroline and I Damon. She's' Something tells me not to finish, that I don't need to justify myself or our relationship.

'She's? What? Your ex girlfriend's best friend? So what? That would be nothing like old Stefan.' He say's it like it's a good thing and smirks. I know that he's simply trying to bait me further. He winces. 'Oh is it because she and I' He trails off wiggling his eyebrows and my fist clenches. He tosses his hand carelessly. 'Don't worry about it. Go for it. It's been years. Tell you what little brother, if it'll make you feel better, I give you my blessing.' 

My fist twitches with the burning need to punch him and I remind myself, cocky uncaring bad-ass attitude and all. It take's entirely to long for me to see his words for what they are, this isn't about me or Caroline it's about him and Elena, this is his way of easing his guilt. If I'm pissed off at him for something else then it's at least something, which in his head makes everything OK He's been this way our entire lives, like's to pick fight's when he's hurt or feels guilty, it was the reason he and our father argued so often. Also, Damon had an incredible gift for knowing exactly where to hit you and how to make it hurt. 

I chuckle because it's the only thing I can think to do aside from hitting him. 'Contrary to your beliefs Damon, the world does not in fact revolve around you.' I take the last of the scotch into my mouth and pat him on the back while rising. I need to be clear I know. If I'm not, we'll continue this game for the rest of my visit. 'Don't worry brother.' I lean in conspiratorially 'I don't hold it against you.' Straightening, I turn and walk away, not waiting for nor wanting to hear his response. 

I have a few seconds to come up with an excuse and tell everyone bye before I blow up. I can feel my temper bubbling quickly to the edge. I quietly say goodbye to Matt and Jeremy, who are surprised by my staying as long as I have, then step in front of the girl's table. They all look up at me smiling.

'Stef' Caroline tugs on my hand and pulls me into the booth beside her. 'come defend me.' 

I can see in her eyes what isn't in her voice. When my hand is no longer in view she entwines her fingers through mine and squeezes it once. It's her way of telling me that she's here. I give her a grateful smile and settle beside her. I need her strengthen to keep me from walking back over and ramming my fist into Damon’s smirking face repeatedly, so I hold her hand a bit tighter when she makes to pull away. Out of the corner of my eye I can see Elena shoot us a look. 

'What's going on over here?' I ask politely, trying to not let my anger seep through. 

Caroline pouts. 'They' she points across the booth at Bonnie and Elena. 'are telling Veronica lie's about me.' 

The three girls laugh and Bonnie leans toward me, knocking her elbow against a full margarita. I grab the napkin from in front of me and hand it to Elena who has already begun to clean it up. Bonnie sat back in her seat in a fit of giggles. 

Out of nowhere an irritated Jeremy appears at her side.'What's goin on Bon?'

She bursts into another fit of laughter. 'On Bon. Get it Stefan? It rhymes. On Bon on Bon.' 

Not knowing what else to do I laugh with her. 'Yea it does.'

Matt, who is at Veronica's side, sighs 'Really you guy's?' His voice is admonishing. 

'Oooooh Matty's mad babe.' Bonnie covers her mouth conspiratorially as Jeremy lifts her to her feet. 

'He's mad because these three said they'd make sure you didn't have too much.'

She shakes her head definitely while pointing at Elena. 'I drank exactly what she drank.' Elena's eyes widen and shame fills them. 

'I'm sorry Jer, I didn't realize.'

He shakes his head even though it's clear that he's still irritated with her. 'It's cool. She'll be fine, but we're gonna head out.' He waves with his free hand then calls for Damon's attention and waves goodbye again. They're at the door when Bonnie breaks free and runs back over to the table. 

I can feel my eyes go wide as she rushes straight at me and tosses her arms around my neck. 'I'm glad your back.' She buries her face against my neck so nobody can hear her. 'She needs you.' And for the second time within the last few hours, she pulls away leaving me speechless. Uncomfortable, I look around the table, everyone is staring at me. 

'Do I have something on my face?' Success, they laugh and the awkward moment is broken. Matt pulls a chair over and flips it around. He sits beside Veronica who automatically leans into him. 

He pulls a beer over and takes a drink. 'What happened? I thought you were leaving?' His question draws two set's of eyes to me. 

Elena looks perturbed and she glances over my shoulder at Damon. Her hands are on her hips and I know what's coming next. 'He didn't'

Her gaze cuts to mine like it had so many times while we were together, only now she wasn't scolding her boyfriend she was scolding the person trying to defend him. Oddly, the look on her face makes me smile slightly as I hold a hand in the air in defense. Shaking her head she stomps over to the bar. 

When Veronica leans forward to watch them Matt shakes his head and pushes her back with his forearm. 'Stop being so nosy V.'

'I just feel so bad. This is really hard for him.' Caroline and Matt roll their eyes as I put my arm over the back of the booth and give her a curious look.

Matt taps the table with his hands like drums. 'Who's up for a game of pool?' 

Caroline glances at me worriedly and I smile encouragingly back. I squeeze her hand one more time before releasing it.

'I'm in.' She rises and follows Matt to a table on the other side of the bar.

So now here I sit with a virtual stranger, trying to think up something to say. Lucky she speaks first. There’s an embarrassed smile on her face and she's twirling her straw around in her vodka and coke.

'Don't get me wrong Stefan. I think the whole situation is completely messed up. When Elena first explained … everything, to me – I mean I didn’t even know you but I was on your side. But then I met Damon and we got to know each other and I just I saw something inside of him. I don't know. ' Her words had me wondering and instinctively I glance across the room at a laughing Matt. Veronica laugh's. 'No it's nothing like that. I moved here freshman year, Elena was my roommate and we got pretty close, she came home one night' Her vision moved out of focus. 'covered in blood. She was freaking out and I, I had no clue as to what the hell was happening. I mean after I realized that it wasn't her's I started to panic but she just kept crying, I couldn't just leave her there. Eventually everything just came out.'

This story surprised me and I can feel that my eyes must be the size of saucers, completely giving way to my surprise. She laughs.

'I know what your thinking. Why the hell didn't she get out of there? Semi-new vamp, fresh from a hunt, human to make matters worse and I'm sitting there like awe poor little thing.' She laughs again and I can only follow suit. With a shrug she sets her glass down. 'She was just so … broken, that I couldn't be afraid. I helped clean her up and she asked me to call Damon for her.' Guilt flashes in her eyes and she looks away. I really need to start working on my game face. 'They uh, she and Damon were still friend's at that time and that was the night she introduced us.' She stops and seems to still be replaying the scene over in her head. 'I'd heard of him before then. Thee Damon Salvatore or Damion as Caroline like's to call him. The evil Salvatore who stole the girl and ran you out of town and who she is sure had something to do with global warming.'

I look over at Caroline with a laugh and a shake of my head. 'She may be a bit biased, but she knows it wasn't really his fault I left. Though I wouldn't be quick to dismiss the whole global warming theory.'

She laughs now, it's loud and it catches the attention of our friend's. After a second they all look away and she smiles embarrassed. 'Anyway he came. She told him she hadn't killed the girl but that it had been close and after a while he calmed her down enough that she fell asleep. Instead of leaving, he asked if he could stay and watch her. Well, less asked more said he was staying. After all of that you can imagine there was no way in hell I was sleeping that night so I stayed up with him and we talked.'

Talked? Now I am definitively surprised. She laughs again and I have the sudden feeling that she can actually read my mind.

'I know, everyone had the same reaction. The only person he apparently ever talked to aside from Elena was Alaric' She says his name as if she knows him and I assume that she must feel as if she does. 'But it's true, we talked. All night. When Elena woke up in the morning I think she was just as surprised as anyone if not more. I think she got this horrible idea into her head that the two of us could go out but it just wasn't there. I mean after talking to him I felt like … he needed somebody. Someone to stand up with him even when they didn't fully understand what he was doing or why he was doing it. He needed somebody to tell him when he was being a dick, which I'm sure you know is one hell of a job all on it's own. Mostly he just needed someone to be there in his corner, someone he always knew would be there standing with him, not against him.'

I feel a wave of emotion wash over me, this girl has known him all of what? Four years? She understood things about Damon after one night that it took me nearly a century to fully grasp. I want to hug her, to thank her, but I can't because despite it taking me a bit longer then her to understand how he works, I do know him. Damon, with all of his cocky smirks and I'm amazing attitude, is as insecure as anyone I've ever met. He wears his heart on his sleeve yet never let's anyone inside because he's constantly afraid that they'll see him and run screaming.  
She started talking again or hadn't stopped and I wasn't listening, I pick up mid sentence and instantly regret it. Her voice is full of compassion.

'for you so I mean, can you imagine being the guy that everyone hates? Who falls in love with his brother's girlfriend? Twice?' Part of me agrees with her, the part of me that knows the real Damon. Another part of me couldn't let go of that word, twice. She cut into my thought's after taking a sip. 'I'll be the first person to say Damon's an ass. But there's more to him then that, you off all people know that Stefan.' The way she speaks it's as if she's known us for decades and not simply a few hours, well at least in my case. 'I mean, the two of you are literally the only family one another has left. He love's you.' That sentence stops the circles I'm drawing on the table with my finger. I freeze because nobody has ever really said it. 'I mean he fought so hard Stefan, even after you left. He fought everything he was feeling because despite the fact that he is a dick the majority of the time, the only person he has absolutely no desire to hurt - is you.' 

I'm actually disappointed when Caroline saunters back over and slides into the booth beside me. Nobody has ever spoken of him this way, well aside from Elena. The thought makes my stomach twist and I turn around to look at them. I don't know what I'm expecting to find but what I do surprises me. Elena has taken the seat I had been in not to long ago, she's smiling happily and Damon is watching her with a smile of his own on his face as she tells some story. His hand is over her's his thumb circling her skin. The scene is so natural, so private that instantly I feel intrusive and look away.

Matt is sitting down just as I tune back into the conversation. 'Hey it's not my fault that even with all your vampy little abilities you still suck at pool.' 

We all laugh, well except for Caroline, she glares at Matt. 'I do not suck!' She turn's to me with determination in her eyes. 'Tell him Stefan. Tell them how I kick your ass at pool all of the time.' She looks triumphant as she crosses her arms and smirks at Matt. 

What do I say? 'Uh, yea. She wins every time.' 

Again with my damn game face tonight. Matt and Veronica start cracking up and Caroline punches me. I wince and look at her through one eye while rubbing my arm.

'What does that mean Stefan? That you let me win?' I know she's trying not to laugh but she's failing miserably. 

'Hey look at the time I think I should be going. I have a long drive ahead of me.'

She makes a buzzing sound with her mouth and points her thumb down. 'Strike one. Next lame excuse?'

We all laugh and I shake my head because I'm serious. The scene I know is still going on behind me has me losing the last of my cool rapidly. Not out of jealousy but out of irrational hurt from long ago. Still with a smile on my face I pat her hand. 'No I'm serious, I think I'm gonna get out of here.'

She looks worried and I know what her next words are going to be. 'OK well I'll come with you.'

Before I can argue she's up and has her bag in her hand. 'It's a long walk back to the boarding house I'm driving you.'

Laughing, Matt pats me on the back as he and Veronica rise as well. 'Yeah man, besides it's dangerous. You never know what's out there going bump in the night.' We all laugh and Veronica slaps him on the arm. 

Elena walks over, Damon trailing behind her. 'You guy's leaving?'

'Yeah, Matt's got work in the morning.' Veronica steps forward and hugs Elena. 'I'll see you guy's tomorrow.' She repeats the action with Caroline before stepping back beside Matt. 'It was nice talking to you Stefan.'

'Yeah you to. I'll uh, I guess I'll see you at the graduation Sunday.' I wave to her and Matt as they disappear out the door then slowly turn back to Damon and Elena who look a little uncomfortable. Good. At least I'm not alone. 'So I'll see you guy's Sunday too?' Alarm flashes into Damon's eyes.

'Your not coming home?' Oh.

'I got a room at the B&B in town.'

'You did?' Now Caroline sounds surprised.

'Yes. Why is it such a big deal?'

Both of their eye's narrow, both clearly thinking the same thing, is he insane. I don't understand the problem. 

'Because it's your home Stefan.' I turn to Elena who's eyes are trained on the ground then at the other two who are looking elsewhere as well. Are they serious? 

'Look you guy's I'm sorry if it's upsetting for you but,' I look to Caroline incredulously. 'did you really expect me to stay there?' She looks away quickly. I want so badly to laugh at the absurdity of the situation but I can't because I know that they are serious. 'OK look let's just say it, you two are together.' All of their eyes widen in perfect sync. ' I don't like it. Not because I'm still in love with her,' I look to Damon when saying this and his shoulders fall a bit in relief, as if something were being lifted off of them. 'because I'm not.' I turn to Elena who looks a little hurt. 'And that's not saying that some part of me won't always love you, I just am not in love with you.' I look back to Damon. 'And it's not even because I'm angry with either one of you, even though I have every right to be.' The hurt from a few moments ago is back and burning inside of me like fire. I look to Elena with accusation clear in my voice. 'You don't seem to fully grasp that he's my brother.' She seems surprised that I seem to be most upset with her. 'He's the only family I have left in this world and I would think you of all people would understand that, but I really don't think you do or ever have. But despite all of that, I'm not angry.' I turn back to Damon. 'I understand and I know that if you had a choice in the matter, you would have chosen somebody else. I know that it was never intentional Damon. You don't choose your soul mate. So I forgive you guy's.' Both of their heads jerk back in surprise and even I am left reeling a little. With a tired sigh I shake my head. I want nothing more then to be as far away from this conversation as possible, but I know it's necessary. 'Eventually I'll get over this. I have to because like I said your the only family I've got and eternity is a hell of a long time.' I see something in Damon's eyes, regret? 'But until then there's only so much you guy's can expect from me.' I turn to Caroline letting her know that I'm including her in that statement and she looks just as surprised as they do. I can't hide my irritation. 'Can we go now?'  
Silently she nods and I walk away leaving her to follow.


	4. Chapter 4

She's still staring at me as we pull up outside of the Mystic Fall's B&B. I laugh as she cuts the engine and pulls the key from the ignition. I know she's going to follow me so I walk slowly up the walkway. I hear her door open and slam and I hear the click clack click clack of her high heels but still she doesn’t speak. She makes it to the front door before me and stands waiting with her arms crossed and her foot tapping impatiently. I hold the door open for her with a grin and she gives me a skeptical look before walking by. Lydia, the middle aged widow and owner is standing before us before the door even closes behind me. There's a knowing smile on her face that makes us both laugh. 

'Lydia, this is my friend Caroline.' I'm surprised when the two women embrace. 

'Of course. I've known the girl since she was in diapers.' She pat's Caroline's hand lovingly. 

Caroline laughs. 'Lydia and her husband used to live next door to us before they bought this place. She used to baby sit me while my Mom was at work.'

I nod in understanding and Lydia gives Caroline a knowing look. 'And how may I ask do you know Mr Salvatore?' There's an underline question in her tone an accusation to why she's here with me. 

There's a blush in Caroline's eyes but she laughs it off. 'Stefan and I went to high school together. He's back for graduation Sunday.'

Instantly Lydia looks embarrassed by her assumption. 'Oh well isn't that sweet? You must be very special to him for him to travel all the way back from California for you.'

I smile at her pointed look. 'She is.' Again embarrassment is in Caroline's eyes and she seems all to happy when Lydia begins to speak again.

'Goodness, graduation from collage already?' She takes Caroline's face in her hands. 'I could swear you weren't a day over sixteen.' I see it. The sharp cut of pain in her eyes. She laughs nervously and looks away avoiding my eyes. 'If only all of us were so lucky.' Lydia laughs. 'Well, you two have a nice night.' Again the assumption is back in her voice but this time I don't laugh. I give her a smile as she disappears into the next room.

Caroline is silent again as I walk past her and up the stairs. She walks past me with her arms crossed and her eyes downcast as I hold the door to my room open for her. She's at the minibar pulling tiny bottles from it by the time I turn back around. The dim street light is shining on her through the window making her sullen features grief striking. With a sigh I turn on the light and she drops the bottles on the bed before falling graciously beside them. 'Care.'

She shakes her head while whipping her cheek. 'How do you do it?' She picks up a bottle and unscrews the cap. 

'Do what?' I pull a chair over and watch as she downs the tiny bottle before picking up another. 

'How do you leave people behind?' She brings the bottle to her lips then pauses, after a beat she downs it. 

Again I don't know what to say. 'I don't know.'

She laughs and tosses the empty bottle back into the pile. 'That's a horrible answer.'

'I know.' She picks up another bottle and now I'm worried. 'Don't.'

For a moment she doesn’t look like herself. There’s a look of hatred in her eyes as she smirks. 'Why? It's not like I need my liver.'

I reach over and take the bottle from her. 'Because this isn't you.' She gives me an unconvinced flick of her eyes. 'Fine then because I can't afford anymore. Do you know how much one of these things cost?' I toss it back into the pile. She laughs and I see a small piece of the wall shes put up fall. I lean forward on my knees and take her hand in mine. 'Look, I wish I could give you the answer your looking for, I really do. But I don't know. I've never been where you are Caroline. Until I met you and Elena and everybody, I spent my entire life staying as far away from people as possible.'

She looks uncertain for a moment. 'What about Lexi?'

The pain shoots through my heart before I can lock it away. Aside from a lantern five years ago I've never really dealt with her death. If I'm honest with myself I know it's because if I open that wound it may take mine and Damon’s relationship to a place it could never recover from.  
She's watching me, waiting for a response. I shake the thought out of my mind. 'Uh. I don't know. I've never really dealt with it I guess.'

'What do you mean?' 

'I don't' My words catch and she squeezes my hand. 

'I'm sorry. Forget I asked.' She feels bad and I'm angry with myself for making her feel worse. 

'Don't be sorry. I guess I just locked it away.' 

'Why?'

'Well, because like I said earlier, Damon's the only family I have.' Her eyes close and she inhales a shaky breath. 

'God Stefan I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking.'

I wipe a a falling tear from her cheek with the back of my hand. 'Stop apologizing.'

'I just keep picturing myself at Matt, Jeremy, Bonnie's funeral surrounded by all of their kids and grand-kids and I just …. I don't know how to deal with that Stefan.' The tears are falling faster and shes shaking. 'I don't know how to live knowing that someday I'm going to have to say goodbye to the people I love. And that I'm going to have to keep saying goodbye to them.' I want to make it better, I want to give her back her life, her future, but I can't. 

'Hey, look at me.' Reluctantly she meets my eyes. 'I'm always going to be here for you. Even in a hundred years when your so sick of me that your going to want to stake me, I'm going to be there. I promise.' 

A slow smile forms and tears continue to fall. 'I know.' I laugh and her smile grows just a bit more. 'It's what makes it not all bad. And I'll never get sick of you, your kind of literally my BFF.' I lift an eyebrow in confusion. And she laughs. 'Best friend forever.' I smile at that and laugh. She scrunches up her nose in distaste. 'Damon on the other hand' We both laugh as I sit beside her and pull her back on the bed with me. We lay side by side, my arm wrapped around her. She settles against me.

'Yeah I know. But on the plus side, you have Elena.'

'True. Also, an advantage of living forever? I get to see trends go in and out of style.' 

I laugh and am reminded of something Damon has told me on more then one occasion. 'Damon's always told me to stay away from fads, they never end well.' 

She pushes up on her elbows and looks down at me with merriment in her eyes. 'No way! Stefan Salvatore gives into fads?' I know my embarrassment is clear on my face by the pure giddiness on hers. She lets out a loud laugh and falls back onto her back beside me. 'Oh this is premium mocking material, how is this the first I'm hearing of it?' Before I can answer she gasps and is back on her elbows looking back at me. 'Were you a hippie?' Despite my best attempts at denial her eyes widen and she let's out another giddy laugh while falling back once again. 'Oh my god! This is to perfect!' She bursts into a fit of laughter.


	5. Chapter 5

I wake to the sun shining through the window and directly into my eyes. I wince against the assault on my pupils as I sit up and look around the room then down at the spot beside me. Caroline is gone, the only sign that she was here is the folded piece of paper on the pillow.

Hey, had to meet the girls to pick up our cap and gowns and then we have a bridesmaid fitting at 3. We should be done around 4-ish. So I'll be by after to pick you up for the party. Did I forget to mention the party? Oops! Well we have to be there early to help set up you dig? Do not stay locked inside all day! 

Peace! Care

I laugh and shake my hand at the peace sign scribbled at the bottom of the page. Oops. Yea right. I pull my phone from my back pocket and drop my legs down over the end of the bed. It rings three times before she answers. 'Please tell me you are not just waking up?' I glance over at the clock beside the bed and am surprised to find that it reads 11:45am. 

'Uh, oops?' She laughs. 'So you forgot to mention it huh?'

'I swear it was a total accident.' 

'Mhm.' 

'So what are your plans for today?'

I pull my hands through my hair and shake my head at her avoidance of the subject. 'I don't know. I was just going to hang out here but some controlling blonde told me I'm not aloud to.'

'Controlling?! I am not controlling!' 

'Who said I was talking about you?'

'Funny. Hey I'm next in line I'll talk to you later OK?'

'Yeah.'

'Groovy. Peace.'

'I'm never going to live that down am I?'

'Oh not a chance in hell.' And then the line is dead. She really needs to work on her phone etiquette

An hour later I walk into The Grill, I don't know why I'm here aside from the fact that it's the only place other than Damon's that I could think of to go. I find the person I'm looking for right away, he's standing behind the bar laughing with a customer, there's a rag tossed over his shoulder and he's leaning back against the bar his arms crossed over his chest.  
His eyes meet mine and he smiles, he says something to the person before pushing forward, I sit down and Matt walks over. 

'Hey.'

'Hey. The place looks different. Mr Manager.'

He nods and looks around. 'Yeah I changed some stuff around, updated a bit.'

'I can see that. Well it looks good.'

'Thanks.' He slides me a glass of scotch then leans on the bar. 'So what are you doing here?'

'I had some down time, thought I'd come say hello. Caroline is out picking up her cap and gown and then she has a dress fitting.' 

With a laugh Matt nods his head in understanding. 'Yeah Veronica too. Bonnie's going a little crazy over the whole thing. I think this is like their third fitting for this dress.'

'This dress?'

He laughs again. 'Yeah there's been like five. She picks one, then she picks a different one.'

'Wow.'

'Yeah. But they've been pretty cool about it I think, because it's Bonnie.'

I nod in understanding. 'She's given up a lot. She deserves it.'

'Yeah. I'm just glad she isn't obsessing over the tuxes. I'd be ripping my hair out.'

'That's right, Caroline told me your the best man.'

'Yeah. But I really don't have to do anything. I mean Elena threw the engagement party and Damon pretty much commandeered the bachelor party.' A beat passes and I think he's going to say more on the topic but instead he changes the subject. 'Can I ask you a personal question?'

Inwardly I sigh. I'm not really in a mood to discuss Elena and Damon being together. Dwelling on things never end's well for me. 'Sure.'

He looks uncomfortable and I know I must too. 'You and Caroline, are the two of you?' He trails off as understanding settles over me as well as relief. 

With a light laugh I shake my head. 'We're friends.'

He looks as skeptical as Damon had the night before. 'And that's it?'

I want to roll my eyes at the question but force myself not to. Instead I shake my head again. 'I wouldn't say it like that. She was there for me when I was in a really dark place, she pulled me out of it. I owe her my life.'

A moment passes, he looks as if he's trying to decide if he should believe me then he shakes his head. I'm unsure of his conclusion. 'Whatever, either way I'm just glad you're back. She's been through a lot lately, with the whole Tyler thing and then Klaus coming back. She needs somebody to talk to and she hasn't been talking to any of us.'

My body goes rigid at the mention of Lockwood's name and there's acid in my voice when I say it. 'What Tyler thing?'

He looks me over with uncertainty then with a sigh he shakes his head. 'So she didn’t tell you.' It isn't a question. He sounds just as irritated by that fact as I am. 'Tyler took off they way he does a couple months back and then a couple of weeks ago he shows up, Haley in tow. They had gotten married and his Mom threw this huge party for them. The dick sent everybody but her an invitation, even her mom.'

My grip on the glass has it shattering in my hand. I try to calm myself as a surprised Matt hurries to clean the mess. 'Sorry.' I try to sound apologetic but I'm just to angry. 

He shakes his head while pushing broken glass into another rag. 'Don't worry about it, it happens all of the time.' He glances at the few customers who's attention I've gained and laughs it off. 'Cheap glasses. I keep telling the owner we need sturdier ones.' 

When they turn away with an understanding laugh I'm able to work up half of a grateful smile. 'Thanks I really am sorry.'

He puts the bundled up glass aside and shakes his head. 'Seriously, don't worry about it. The guy has a way of pissing people off. Always has.'

I shake my head and take a deep breath. It's pointless though because as I exhale his words play over in my head. 'Wait did you say Klaus is back?' 

Now his posture changes and he looks around the restaurant When he turns his attention back to me he looks apprehensive. 'I think you're going to need to talk to Caroline about that.' He isn't being rude. I know what he's thinking, if my reaction to the Tyler thing was what it was then he didn't want to pour gasoline onto an already blazing fire. 'Anyway I couldn't tell you much other then he's here, or was here, I don't know. She just walked in here one day like two weeks ago looking really down and just said Klaus is back. We asked her questions but she wouldn't talk about it. Damon went looking for him but never found him. That was it. She hasn't mentioned it since.' Why would he show up and then disappear again? No he's around here somewhere. Watching her, waiting to make his move. 'Stefan man, she's fine. Calm down.' I look up and meet Matt's worried gaze. I have to shake myself back to reality. I give him a nod then pull some money out of my wallet and stand up. 

'Thanks for the drink. That should cover the glass.' I drop the bills onto the bar.

'Are you going to be alright?' 

No. 'Yeah. I've just gotta stop by Damon's before this party tonight.' I shake my head nonchalantly 

He's clearly not buying it but decides to play along and let's the subject drop. 'You get roped into decorating?' 

'Yeah. Which is weird considering I don't even know who or what the party is for.' 

We both laugh at this. 'It's for me actually. I got accepted into the Graduate program at University of Marymount.' He says it as if it's nothing.

All I can think is whoa. 'Wow that's, that's amazing.' I know I must sound shocked but really I'm in awe. I stick my hand out and shake his hand. 'Congratulations.' 

He looks embarrassed. 'Thanks. It not that big of a deal. V and Elena are the one's making such a big thing out of it. Personally I think they just want an excuse to throw a party.'

'It is a big deal. Let them fawn over you for a bit, you deserve it.' He laughs and gives a nod. 'I'll see you tonight.' A thought occurs to me and I turn back to him. 'It wasn't a surprise was it? I mean you seem to know but I don't want to get staked for ruining a surprise.' 

He laughs whole heatedly this time. 'It was, for about ten seconds. Veronica couldn't keep a secret to save her life.' 

As I leave I suddenly understand what it is Caroline's been feeling. Watching your friend's grow up and move forward with their lives, knowing that you'll never be able to do the same, it takes something from you and leaves you feeling as if your insides have been hollowed out. 

I need to talk to her. 

I look down at my watch and see that it's only fifteen after one. She should be done with her cap and gown and her note said their appointment isn't until three. I pull out my cell and press send on the last call. I count three rings before she picks up.

'Hey, is everything OK?' She sounds worried.

No. 'Yeah why?'

There's silence for a moment. 'Nothing, I just, never-mind What's up?' Her normal cheeriness fills the line but it's forced. 

'Nothing, I'm just leaving The Grill.' Silence. 'Stopped by to talk to Matt for awhile.' More silence. 'Care?'

'Yeah.' False cheer gone. She knows I know. 

'Wanna get some lunch?' I hear the soft giggle and I smile. The question is a sure-way of making her laugh. Though this time it's tinted with sadness.

'Yeah.'

'I'm gonna head back to Lydia's.' 

'I can be there in ten, fifteen minutes tops.' I hear protests in the background. It sounds like Bonnie. She's mid rant when her voice comes over the line.

'Stefan?' She sounds beyond stressed out.

'Uh, hi.'

 

'Is there some big conspiracy to sabotage my wedding that I don't know about?'

Uh. 'Uh, I, I don't'

'I mean there must be right? First Veronica and Elena bail on the dress fitting. Then the florist calls to tell me that he's unsure if he can get Lily of the valley for the bridesmaid bouquet's and want's to know how I would feel about bleeding hearts instead. Bleeding freaking heart's!'

'They're a beautiful flower.' I try to appease her but it seems to have the opposite effect.

'Half of the wedding party are Vampire's!' I try really hard not to laugh but fail miserably. I can hear Caroline laughing as well. 'It's not funny!'

'I'm sorry. Your right.'

'And now you're trying to hijack my last loyal brides maid, while still having not been fitted for your tux!'

Now I'm lost. 'I'm sorry my what?'

There's silence then a slow bubble of laughter. 'That was a good one. Agh! Not cool you guy's. You almost gave me a heart attack!' More silence. She can't really be saying what I think she is. A screech pierces my eardrum. 'You didn't tell him?' And that's the last thing I hear before the line dies.


	6. Chapter 6

I decided to head back to Lydia's anyway. Whether she's there or not, I need to clear my head. Her car is back in it's spot from the night before. I walk through the front door and am met with the sound of laughter. I follow the sound into the kitchen where I find Caroline, Bonnie and Lydia laughing over coffee. 

'Mr. Salvatore!' All three women look at me simultaneously, Bonnie has a lopsided smile on her face and Caroline looks completely guilty. Lydia on the other hand, she's so blissfully unaware that I smile back.

'I apologize for interrupting.' I take a step back out of the kitchen. 'I'll let you ladies finish your coffee. ' Before I can turn Bonnie shakes her head and rises.

'Actually Lydia was just about to show me her koi pound.' A look of confusion crosses over the older womens face before she quickly realizes what is going on and rises as well.

'That's right. It's just out this way dear.' She leads Bonnie out the back door, shutting it behind her. 

We're both quiet for a few moments before she shakes her head and stands up. 'I'm sorry. I know I should have told you about the wedding.'

I laugh because I don't know what else to do. 'The wedding? You think that's what this is about?'

She halts in her advancement and nods. 'You're right. A lot of things have happened lately that I've chosen to keep private. I'm not going to apologize for that though Stefan. Tyler and Klaus, that wasn't your problem, it was mine. I am sorry that you're upset though.'

'Upset?' A flash of irritation flashes through me and I close the distance between us. 'Caroline I'm not upset. I'm pissed off!'

'OK fine you're pissed because for once I didn't tell you everything but'

'It's not about wanting to know everything. You could have been hurt or worse' I stop and take in a sharp breath. The twisting in my gut wrings tighter.

Her hand flys up to her forehead. 'Stefan I am fine. Look.' She pats her face, then her shoulders and turns her arms over and pats each of them. 'All in one piece.' She gives me a small smile but I can't return it.

'How is it so easy for you to block out the hell he put you through?' Her eyes finally leave mine. 'He is obsessed with you Caroline and worse he thinks it's love.'

She stomps her foot in frustration and spreads her arms out wide. 'But I don't love him.'

'And eventually he's going to realize that! What do you think he's going to do then?' The first flash of fear enters her eyes. 'I'm not asking you to tell me everything, but when thing's like Klaus showing up after all of this time, happen? I need you to tell me.' Tears are falling slowly from her eyes and I take a step closer. 'OK?' She nods and I pull her into my arms. 'I can't lose you.' She nods against my chest and we both pull away. I take a breath and try to calm myself as much as possible before having to ask the next question. 'What did he say to you?'

She wipes her eyes while shaking her head. 'Nothing. He just popped up and was all Kalus-ish with his ello love.' Her imitation almost made me laugh. Almost. 

'And that's it?' 

'Yes.' She looks down at the floor. 

'Caroline.'

'Fine. He said something like I'll be seeing you or whatever.'

I close my eyes and try to calm myself. 'I'm going to kill him.'

'You're not going to kill him.' I can hear the amusement in her tone.

I open my eyes and there's a small smile on her face. 'I want to kill him.'

Now she laughs. 'It's Klaus, he's never met a person who doesn’t want to kill him.' She's trying to make me laugh.

'You have to promise me you're going to be careful. That you won't let him suck you in with his charm again.'

'Hey!' 

'So this Tyler thing. Do I need to brush up on my how to kill a hybrid manual?'

She laughs and wipes the last of her tears from her eyes. 'No. I'm OK Although you may want to pick up a copy of how to deal with a witchy bride for dummy's.'

I laugh. 'Yeah, right. I'll admit, you guy's had me with that one.' Slowly she lifts her head and a corner of her mouth rises. Shit. 'No.' I shake my head at the absurdity. 'No.' 

She jumps feet first into a rant. 'She was complaining a few months back about how the wedding party was uneven and talking about how I was going to have to carry her train because I didn't have an escort and I made this joke – well it was less of a joke and more of an observation really – in no way was it a suggestion, about how nice it would be if you were here, that way you could be my partner and the next thing I know she's fitting you into rehearsal dinners and asking me if I'd gotten your measurements yet. Then last week when she said how excited she was that you were finally going to be here so you can finally be fitted for your tux I just didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't tell you because I was afraid if I did that you'd never show up because I missed you and wanted you to be here for graduation so instead I just nodded and said that you were excited too and now your both mad at me.' She stops and begins chewing on her bottom lip. I'm honestly at a loss for words. 'I know what your going to say, but Stefan this is their wedding and they're asking you to be apart of it. You can't say no to that.'

She's right, I know it, but still. 'Do you know how insane this sounds? I haven’t been apart of their lives for five years Caroline. Is Jeremy even OK with it?'

'It was his idea.' We look over to find Bonnie standing alone in the doorway. 'You're apart of us all Stefan, no matter how far you run or for how long. If it weren't for you, none of us would be where we are right now.'

I can't help but look at Caroline when she says this and to think of Elena. I turn back to Bonnie and she can apparently read my thoughts. 'You know what I mean.'

Caroline looks confused for a beat before she shakes her head in irritation. 'Oh do not even go there.' She points a scolding finger at me. 'I know you like to play broody boy and think that everything bad in the world is your fault, but it's not Stefan. Kathrine killed me and if it weren't for you I'd be exactly like her.' She pauses a second seemingly rethinking that statement. 'OK well not exactly like her coz she's a sociopathic bitch – but I wouldn't be who I am.'

I smile despite the topic and catch Bonnie shift nervously out of the corner of my eye. When I look to her she looks like she feels uncomfortable. She smiles back at me then shakes her head. 'I can't say thing's wouldn't have been different, but I can say I wouldn't change anything now. We want you to be apart of our wedding, please don't say no.' There's a small hopeful smile on her face and I can't help but nod. She and Caroline clap and squeal in unison before she jumps into a rant about tuxes and measurements


	7. Chapter 7

I can't remember the last time I was actually tired. All I want is to go back to the B&B and go to sleep. Three hours with an anxiety ridden bride will do that to you apparently. Somehow Bonnie talked me into not only joining them in Caroline's fitting, but into going in for my own measurements as well. So I am officially apart of the bridal party. That thought hasn't ceased to put my stomach in knots.   
We've just left Bonnie and are now headed toward Damon's. Damon and Elena's. Again my stomach twists. Caroline is sitting in the drivers seat singing along with some song that I've never heard and when it end she turns down the radio and looks at me. 

'That was really nice of you.'

'What?'

'Agreeing to be a grooms men. I know it's probably the last thing in the world you want to be doing but it means a lot to Bonnie.' I shrug and she sighs. 'It's going to be OK Stefan, we can even leave early if you can't handle it.' 

I shrug again and wonder how she always knows what I'm thinking. 'I feel like I'm intruding on everyone's lives.' She looks irritated by my words. 'What?'

'It's your home too.'

'No it's their home. Together.'

She sighs. 'I thought you said you were over her?'

Now I'm irritated with myself, I hate sounding like the pining ex, especially because I'm not. 'I am. But it doesn't make it any less uncomfortable for me. That place isn't my home anymore, or at least it doesn't feel like it right now.' She gives me a sympathetic smile and I sigh because I hate more then anything to be pitied. I put a smile on my face and try to sound as convincing as possible. 'I'll be fine.' She doesn't look convinced but there's no time to say anything because at that moment the house comes into view and as luck will have it Elena is standing outside and see's us. Prying ears has the conversation being dropped, at least for now. 

We pull to a stop and she is at Carolines door in an instant, it seems she doesn't even notice me as she frantically pulls her hand through her hair. 'I am so happy to see you right now!' 

Caroline is practically bouncing as she get's out of the car while I buy time by turning off radio and rolling up my window, before leaning over and cutting the engine. I listen while Elena rant's about the band and how Ben, whoever he is, had messed up the liquor order. I make my way around the car, slowly, and come to a stop beside Caroline. Elena stops mid rant and stares at me as if I've grown a third head. I look from her to Caroline who shrugs. Before either of us can say anything Elena slams into me, throwing her arms around my neck I look frantically up at Caroline who looks just as surprised as I feel. Lucky for me she pulls away rather abruptly, even though there is a smile on her face she is crying. I shake my head in confusion and she laughs. 

'I'm sorry. I'm just so happy you stayed – that you came! I mean after last night and everything you said, we weren't sure we'd be seeing you again anytime soon.'

Clearly I'm supposed to say something but I'm not sure what. 'I'm here for Caroline's Graduation.' Her face falls and I realize to late that she'd been hoping that my being here meant I was more OK with things then I let on. I don't want to make her feel better, tiny Dark Stefan on my left shoulder is telling me that she deserves to hurt, but the tiny blonde with wings on my right shoulder is tapping her foot and giving me that scolding look that never ceases to put me in my place. I glance over at Caroline and she is mimicking tiny conscience Carolines actions. I try my very hardest to not sigh. 'I mean for all of yours of course.' It's they best I can do and even if it is a stretch of the truth, it's going to have to suffice. Her posture straightens and her smile is unable to mask the hurt behind it and I feel bad but we both let it go. 

'Great. So as I was saying,' She turns to Caroline and they share a brief look that I assume they're under the impression I don't see, and then jump back into party talk. They're looking over a check list when I become entirely to uncomfortable standing here doing nothing. 

'Uh, excuse me, Elena?' She gives me that same three headed Stefan look again. 'I'm sorry for interrupting Is Damon' The words feel uncomfortable in my throat and I have to stop. I take the smallest satisfaction in that fact that both she and Caroline look just as uncomfortable. 

She nods and points over her shoulder with her pen. 'Yeah he's inside securing the Salvatore family fortune in the vault?' Caroline raises an eyebrow and I laugh. Elena shakes her head just as confused as Caroline. 'I'm to busy to figure out what he was talking about so I let it go.'

Caroline looked to me 'The Salvatore’s have a fortune? How am I just hearing of this?' Sh mocked anger by crossing her arms over her chest. 'Although it does explain how the two of you have such nice clothes. So what is it like gold bars and jewels? ' 

I shake my head at them and laugh again. 'No not exactly.'

It's Elena who look curious now. 'Wait what do you mean not exactly?' Simultaneously they step closer. 'Oh my god is there actually gold in there?'

I only laugh and turn to make my way into the house. They follow closely on my heels, so I don't have the luxury of readying myself before I'm metaphorically pushed through the door. Elena moves around me as I come to a stop, Caroline takes hold of my hand squeezes it. Just barely, I hear her whisper for me to breath and I exhale slowly through my nose. I squeeze her hand back once and then release it. As if nothing had happened she continues on around me and follows after Elena. I notice that they're going in the direction of the vault and I shake my head. Deciding not to follow I take a few more steps inside and then enter the main room. Everything looks the same. I don't really know what I was expecting to find, maybe something that screamed domestic life, but instead, aside from a few boxes sitting on the dining room table, I was met with a room that looked no different then it had five years ago. My curiosity getting the better of me I walk over and peer inside. I smile and lift the box. 

As I make my way down the familiar halls I feel for the first time since arriving back in Mystic Falls, a sense of being home. I hear Caroline and Damon fighting before I even see the vault. 

'You break that you buy it blondie.'  
'Oh no I hope I have the dollar it would take to replace all of this junk. What is this thing anyway? It's broken.' I turn into the room and see Caroline struggling with a small round box.

I see Damon's seething face and I know there's a smart ass comment on the tip of his tongue so I put the box down and take the box from her. 'Like this.' I twist and the box pops open. Music begins to play as I hand it back to Caroline. 'And this stuff isn't crap. That for instance.' I point to the box she is turning in her hands. 'Is from the early eighteen hundreds, it was our Grandmother's.' She stumbles and then gently places it back on the table. She looks up at me embarrassed

'It's beautiful.' She looks guiltily over at Damon. 'Sorry.' He shrugs it off and she goes back to looking around the large room. 

Damon walks over to the box in front of me and pulls out a bottle of Whiskey. A smile pulls the corners of his mouth up as he looks it over. 'Beautiful isn't it?' I laugh and shake my head as he places the bottle back in the box. 'So you came back this time.'

'I never left this time.' He looks me over then nods and starts moving stuff around on the table. 

'So you're home for good then?'

There's that word again. Home. 'No. Just back from now, I leave next week.'

He looks up at me and looks as if there's something he want's to say when Caroline cut's into our conversation.

'He'll be back in a few weeks for his final fitting though and then again for the wedding.'

He and Elena give me matching looks of surprise. She's the one who speaks though. 'You're going to be in the wedding?'

She doesn't sound put off by the idea so I shrug. 'Bonnie's pretty convincing.'

She smiles. 'I'm glad. It wouldn't feel right without you there.'

Damon is still staring at me so I look over at him knowing that he's the only person I can count on to be completely honest. 'What do you think?'

He shrugs uncaring 'I'm all for it.' I narrow my eyes, waiting for the smart-ass comment I've learned always comes with Damon. 'I mean this way blondie isn't the sad seventh wheel for a night.' 

Elena's eyes meet mine and we roll them simultaneously as the two begin to argue. With a laugh she looks away and continues looking through shelves. I continue to listen to the two of them argue for a little while longer before it starts to go to far. With a sigh I take a step between them and hold my hands out. 'Come on guy's, can't we call peace? For now at least?' I don't catch my words in time, but Caroline's eyes shine as she looks passed me at Damon. 

Elena stands from her squatted position. 'Whose the Comic book fan?'

I laugh and point over my shoulder, thankful for the distraction. 'That would be Damon.' 

She cocks an eyebrow at him and never one to show humility he shrugs. 'Those are all mint, first editions, do you have any idea how much money they’re worth?' 

She nods while opening a display case and picks up a pair of nikes. 'And these?' I laugh as he rushes over in a panic. Elena hold her hands up in surrender and he places them back in the case gently.

'Do you have any idea what these are?' 

Caroline lifts an eyebrow. 'Dirty old shoes?'

He glares at her as he shuts the door. 'They're not just any shoes. These are the shoes Michael J Fox wore in Back To The Future.' 

Both girls start to crack up, I look over at Caroline and she stops laughing. Her eyes narrow and she points a scolding finger at me. You distracted me with the geeky comic book thing.

'It's not geeky.' Damon defends but she doesn't hear him.

An evil smirk appears on her face and she crosses her arms while turning to Elena. I feel at a loss for words, and am unable to stop her. 'Elena, did you know that our dear old Stefan was a Hippie?'

Elena turns to me with wide eyes and I close my own, but not before seeing the smirk on Damon's face.  
'No way.' There's a mix of disbelief and amusement in her voice. I open my eyes and she turns to Damon for confirmation. 

He smirks. 'It's true. Although I must say, I much preferred hippie Stefan to grunge Stefan,' 

Caroline turns to me with wide eyes. 'Grunge?! You did not say anything about grunge! Oh my god I would have killed to see that!' 

Worry fills my gut and nervously I slide my gaze over to Damon who already has an evil smirk on his face. Damn it.


	8. Chapter 8

I trailed my fingers along the leather spines of journals lining the shelf. Memories flooded my mind, names, faces, tears. Unspoken thoughts screaming at me, unrelenting and unwilling to let me forget. With a heavy sigh my hand drops to my side and I look around once again at the seemingly untouched room.  
'I come in and dust once in awhile.' I turn toward the door and find Elena standing just inside the doorway her arms crossed over her chest.  
I wander over to my desk and run my hand over the shiny surface. 'Thank you.' It's the first time we've been alone together and the air is instantly heavier. The irrational feeling that the room has suddenly grown smaller overwhelms me.  
Shes silent for a long time as she wanders in and looks around. 'I spent a lot of time in here, after you left.' I don't know how to respond to that. She sits on the oak chest at the foot of my bed and leans forward on her knees. She looks up at me expectantly and I realize that the time has come for the talk I'd been dreading for the last five years. With a sigh I lean back against the desk and cross my ankles.  
'I'm guessing we're doing this now?' I take solace in the fact that there's a house full of people down stairs.  
'You had your chance, don't I deserve the mine?'  
I barely restrain from outright laughing, she honestly thought my little outburst yesterday was everything I had wanted to say. I nod and cross my arms over my chest. 'You're right. We both deserve the chance to say our peace.' I gesture for her to continue. 'You go first.'  
She seems to understand what I'm saying, that I hadn't even touched on what I wanted to say to her. She looks up at me silently then sits up straight, a gesture I recognize as her readying herself for battle. 'OK. Well first of all, you were wrong.' There's an edge to her voice and I'll admit that of everything I expected to hear, that wasn't it.  
I lean forward with a raised eyebrow. 'I'm sorry? What exactly was I wrong about?' I can't keep the edge out of my voice.  
'A lot of things.' I sit back, feeling like I've been slapped in the face. 'But for starters, what you said last night.' Tears brim her eyes and I can tell she's struggling to not let them fall. 'My brother is the only family I have left in this world Stefan. So how you can think that I have never fully grasped the situation, is unbelievable to me.'  
Well damn.'You're right and I'm sorry.' She is and I am. 'I shouldn't have said that.' She nods while looking down at her hands. There's silence for a long time and I begin to wonder if she's decided to not continue after all. I'm trying to find a polite way of asking whether she's finished or not when she shakes her head again. Her shoulders fall and the stubbornness that was there just a moment ago is now gone.  
'You just left.' Her words take me by surprise. When I don't respond she looks up at me and lifts her shoulders. 'After everything, you just walked away without so much as a goodbye.'  
'What did you expect me to do? Sit around and pretend like everything was ok? Act like it didn't kill me to see the two of you together?' I snap irritably .  
She rises to her feet in a flash, fire blazing in her eyes. 'I expected, that after the hell we'd been through together, that you would think enough of our relationship – of me, to at least say goodbye! I thought I had at least earned that Stefan!' I'm effectively silenced. 'But you just left! I spent months blaming myself for hurting you, for destroying yours and Damon's relationship. Damon spent months looking for you, going out of his mind, blaming himself for whatever you were out there doing. Six months! Six months of not knowing and then one day Caroline just disappears without a word. Then she calls and the only thing she'll say is that she's fine and that she's with you.' Her voice cracks and she takes a second to steady herself. 'And then suddenly all I could keep thinking was, what hadn't I seen? Why would he call her instead of me?'  
I understand the meaning in her words and suddenly my irritation is reignited. 'Are you asking me if I cheated on you?'  
'Of course not.' She give me a look that reminds me entirely too much of Damon. The look that says, don't be stupid. 'I just couldn't get passed the fact that – you chose her.' The way she says it, she almost sounds hurt and I'm left confused. She sighs and her hand drops tiredly to her side. 'When you needed help Stefan, you called her. You couldn't depend on me. Even as just a friend.' She sits back down with another sigh.' And I'm sorry for that.' All of her energy seems to evaporate, taking my anger with it.  
I'd forgotten this feeling. This need to ease her guilt even if it meant taking it on as my own. Tentatively, I sit beside her. 'It wasn't your fault. I let you down. On more than one occasion.'  
She shakes her head, a sad smile on her face. 'After everything, you still refuse to accept that not everything wrong in this world is your fault.' I feel shaken by her words, it having been the second time hearing them today. We're both quiet then, she picks up my hand in hers and I lace our fingers together. 'The night I turned.' She looks up at me, see's the question in my eyes. 'That's when it was over, wasn't it?'  
I can sense the sadness in her words. She's spent the last five years thinking this was because I couldn't love her as a vampire. With a sigh I shake my head. 'No. Elena.' She looks away, not believing me. 'We – we were over before it ever started.' Her attention snaps back to me and I let go of her hand.  
'What?' There's an unmistakable edge to her tone.  
'No. I don't mean. You and I … we were … epic.' We both smile a bit at the word. 'But you and Damon, I think that was' I pause trying to find the right words. 'fate.' She looks away with a hint of guilt in her eyes. That nagging feeling to put her mind at ease tugs at my chest yet again. 'It's ok.' She still refuses to look at me so I take her hand again and tug on it gently. She looks over but still refuses to meet my eyes. 'I never could have gotten you through it all Elena. Not the way he did. And nobody but you could have saved him from himself. I knew that from the start. I just, I guess I wasn't willing to accept it. It doesn't mean that what we had wasn't real.' She wipes a falling tear from her cheek and I'm surprised by the tears filling my own eyes.. 'We were a road we both needed to go down to get where we are.' When I finish, I'm left feeling a bit raw. I don't know where the words came from, but from the second I opened my mouth, everything I'd known was true for so long but was to angry and hurt to accept, just came spilling out.  
'I really am sorry Stefan.' She sniffles.  
I let go of her hand and pull my fingers through my hair. 'Yeah I am too.' She finally meets my eyes. 'I should have said goodbye. You deserved more.' A silence falls over the room, the earlier tension gone. Through the silence the pounding of the music echos around us. 'We should get back down there.' She nods and I stand up. I'm already at the door when she calls my name. I turn and find her still sitting in the same spot.  
'I really don't want to but - I need to ask.' Interested I take a step toward her. She clears her throat, her eyes locked on her ring which she's twisting back and forth. 'Why did you call her?' Buying time I walk back over and pull the desk chair over to sit across from her. Leaning forward on my knees I struggle, not for the first time, to remember the moment I'd decided to call Caroline. To remember what was going through my mind at the time. She watches me intently, waiting for my answer. Suddenly she shakes her head and stands up. 'Never mind. Forget I asked.'  
'No, wait.' Slowly she sits back down. 'I don't know why.' She doesn't look like she believes me. 'All I know is one second I was … feeding and the next – she's on the phone, telling me she's on her way.' My answer obviously doesn't sate her curiosity. 'But even though I may not know why, I don't regret it. I was falling apart Elena. In the kind of way that only Lexi had ever been able to help come back from.' She looks away and I know she is remembering that night. 'Sometimes, I think that maybe that's what happened. She sent her to me.' There's something in her eyes and it take me a second to catch on. 'To help me. She sent her to help me.'  
'To get you through it … in a way I never could.' Again there's something in her eyes as she repeats my earlier words, something I can't understand. 'Do you love her?' She asks curiously and I'm stunned speechless. Before I can answer her attention moves to the door behind me. I turn just as Caroline walks through the door. She looks from me to Elena and back, surprise clear on her face.  
'Uh – sorry. I was just' She stumbles over her words.  
Elena stands up with a smile. 'It's fine. I better get back down stairs anyway, before Damon eats one of the guests.' Caroline laughs tensely as Elena passes her. Before she leaves she turns toward me with a smile. 'I'll ask you again later.' Then she's gone and the room falls silent.  
I can feel her eyes on me as I stand to put the chair back in its place. 'Don't.' I turn to face her and find her in the exact position I expected to. Her hands are in her back pockets and there's a condescending look in her eyes.  
She shrugs. 'I didn't say anything.'  
'Yeah well you were thinking it.'  
She sighs as I try to walk passed her and steps in front of me. 'What are you doing Stefan?'  
I can feel her annoyance. 'Nothing. We were just talking.'  
'Talking?'  
'Yes, talking. You know that thing you like to do so much.' I tease playfully, earning a glare in return.  
'Funny. You know what I mean.'  
With a sigh I walk back across the room. 'Don't start.'  
'Five years Stefan! It took you five years to be able to come back here. ' She walks after me, there's desperation in her voice. 'Don't let her pull you back to that place.'  
I turn back, the tone in her voice instantly making me feel guilty. 'She's your friend.'  
She sighs in exasperation. 'And I love her. But I also saw what she did to you.'  
There's a sense of urgency in her voice now and I take a step toward her. 'There's nothing to be worried about, we were just talking. I promise.'  
Her scrutinizing gaze is amusing but I bite back my laugh. 'About what?'  
With a groan sit on the edge of my desk crossing my arms and ankles. 'How much I suck.' Lines form at the sides of her eyes and I know she's about to go on the attack. 'How much she sucks. Damon. You.' Her anger is instantly replaced with confusion and she crosses her arms.  
'What about me?'  
I don't want to tell her, partly because I'm afraid she'll be pissed and partly because I'm to exhausted to calm her down if she is. I know though that really I have no choice, she won't let it go. 'She was just – curious, about why I called you that night instead of her.' I trail off at the end, seeing the storm brewing in her eyes.  
'Are you freaking kidding me!' I make a feeble attempt at quieting her down knowing that she's likely to gain the attention of all those in the house that can hear her, namely Damon and Elena. She gives me an incredulous look as I glance at the door. 'I don't care who hears me!'  
'Ok I know but can you just' She's seething and I'm afraid that she might actually go down stairs and take her anger out it's intended target. 'Let's just go somewhere else. Ok?' Her gaze cuts to the door and back. She breaths deeply before reluctantly nodding.  
We make our way through the crowd, a pissed off Caroline practically growling at anyone who doesn't get out of her way. She doesn't even pause as she glares at Damon who is leaning against the wall beside the door bottle in hand. 'Uh-oh.'  
She disappears out the door leaving me behind with his smirking face.  
He glances out the door feigning interest. 'Trouble in paradise?'  
'Shut up.' I take the bottle from his hand and take a long drink from it.  
His features shift just a bit. 'So I guess you're heading out.'  
'Yeah.' There's disappointment in his eyes but his smirk is ever-present. ' But uh, I'll see you tomorrow at the Graduation.'  
Before he can respond a shriek of girly laughter cuts through the house. Together we make our way toward the living room and together our eyes find Elena. She standing atop the dining room table with four other girls. There's a bottle hanging from her hand and a smile on her face as she dances to the music. I glance at Damon beside me, see the humor in his eyes and can't help but smile. I take one last drink from the bottle before handing it back to him with a clap on the back. He turns to me questioningly  
'I'll see you later.' I can feel his eyes following me as I exit the house. When I see Caroline sitting in her car still angry but in less of a murdery way, I smile. Her glare follows me around the car and doesn't deter as I shut the door after me. Knowing better than to laugh I tap the dash-board. 'Lets go.'  
'Where?' Her tone is much less angry then she appears to be and I think she is a bit disappointed in herself for not keeping up appearances. Smiling she shakes her head and starts the car her gaze cutting to me as she puts it into reverse. 'Shut up.'


	9. Chapter 9

We screech to a stop just outside of city limits and I'm finally able to loosen my hold on the dashboard. She cuts the engine and throws her door open. Her anger was reignited when I refused to tell her anything until we were out of the car. When she gave me a pointed look I pointed at a pedestrian who had jumped back onto the curb as we sped by and reminded her that just because we were indestructible doesn't mean everyone else is. She didn't bother to shut the door as she made her way out onto the empty road. I thought about buying time by turning off the headlights but got out instead. Slowly I made my way around the car then leaned against the side of the car and brought my foot back up against the tire. 

'Comfy?' She snapped, her voice echoing in the empty silence.

Amused by her hostility I cross my arms and shrug. 'It's a bit muggy out actually.'

'Stefan!' The single word is sharp as a sword but I only shake my head in amusement.

'You're honestly making a bigger deal out it then necessary.'

'I'll be the judge of that thank you. Tell me.' So I do and the up and down of her emotions play clearly on her face. When I'm done, for the first time since we met, I can't tell what she's thinking. Paired with her silence, the feeling is unnerving. 

'Well?' She jumps and looks at me like she'd forgotten I was there.

'What?'

She's clearly fighting back a smile. 'You just – I mean – why do you look like that?'

'Like what?' She giggles then quickly covers her mouth, her eyes as wide as saucers. 

'Like you're about to burst.' I tease. 

She lowers her hand a bit. 'You have to promise not to judge!' 

'Why would I judge you?'

'Because!' She stomps her foot in frustration but still is unable to stop smiling. 'It petty and insecure and very much pre-vamp Caroline!' 

'OK?' I'm completely confused now. She walks around the car stopping in the light of the headlights. 

'It's just, for as long as I can remember, everything has always been about Elena. And I know it sounds horrible because she's been through a lot, but I mean … haven’t we all? We've all lost people we love. Parent's and friends, what made her pain different then everyone elses? Think about it Stefan, at one point or another we have all put our lives on the line for her; and I know she appreciates it, but sometimes I just – I wonder why. What makes her so special?' I'm completely thrown, this is not anything close to what I thought she might say. She drops her head back with a groan. 'See this is why I didn’t want to say anything. Your judging me!'

Quickly I shake my head. 'I'm not I swear.'

She sighs dramatically. 'I love her Stefan. To death.'

'I know you do.'

'And I would without a second thought do it all again. But that's the problem. Everybody has always, without a second thought, believed she was worth it.' Her eyes lock on mine and I can see that she's struggling with herself, the tears threatening to fall, a sign of how horrible she feels for even thinking these things let alone saying them. She shakes her head sadly. 'Matt, You, Damon, you were all just always there, without a doubt in your minds that she was worth all of the waiting and the hurt. It didn't matter what she put you guy's through or for how long. She was worth it. Even when Matt and I were together there was always this part of me that knew he would go back to her in a second if she wanted him. And ok I can understand that because they've known each other since forever but you,' 

She trails off, turning completely away from me. 'Me what?' I watch as she shakes her head back and forth, rakes her fingers through her hair. 'Caroline.' I take a step toward her and she turns around. For a moment she just stares at me and I can practically see the thoughts racing through her head. 

'Do you remember that night at the bonfire?' She asks suddenly. I search my memory for that night and when it comes to me, it's my turn to look away. She laughs and it's neither angry nor sad. 'You looked at me like I was the most pathetic thing you'd ever seen and you told me point blank, it's not going to happen. You didn't even know me. You didn't even know her. But you didn’t need to. Like everything else in her life, she had you without even trying.' 

'Caroline.' I try to reach for her but she steps away with a shake of her head. 

'No Stefan.' Frustrated with herself, she pulls her hand through her hair again. 'I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I swear. I just, what I'm trying to say is, I've spent the majority of our friendship feeling like second best, the runner up in the race for – everything. And wondering, why her?' The smallest hint of a smile makes it's way onto her face and I finally understand what she is trying to say. 'So when I hear that she's spent even a minute, wondering why me? A really small part of me just feels, for lack of a better word, really really good.' She laughs again while exhaling a long breath. 'I'm horrible aren't I?' Almost timidly she looks back at me.

With a small laugh of my own I shake me head. 'No. Your just, for lack of a better word, human.' She smiles in relief and climbs up on the hood of her car. She lays back and stares up at the star filled sky. After a second I lay beside her. We stay that way for a long time, I have no idea how much time has actually passed when I look over at her. 'I'm sorry.' 

She closes her eyes and exhales slowly. 'You don't need'

Sitting up I scoot to the edge of the hood. 'If I ever made you feel bad about yourself, for even a second, I' My words fall silent because I can't for the life of me imagine anything I could possibly say to make up for it. 'I don't know what to say.' 

With a sigh she sits up and slides off the hood. 'You don't need to say anything. It was a long time ago Stefan.'

I catch her wrist as she walks by. She stops and looks back at me. 'You're the strongest person I know. Your smart and loyal and a total bad-ass when you need to be.' She laughs. 'Your compassionate and … beautiful and have the ability to not only see the best in a person but to bring it out in them.' Tears are in her eyes again and she looks down. I bring her face back up with my free hand and tuck her hair behind her ear. ' You make me strong Caroline. I can't even begin to imagine what I would be without you.' Her breath hitches and silently a stream of tears slide down her cheek. I wipe them away with my thumb then pull her into my arms. 'I'm sorry for ever making you feel anything less then amazing.'

We stay there for a little while, then I pull her back up onto the hood with me. We stay reclined there, silently, my arm wrapped around her and her head on my chest, until the sky turns pink and the sun peaks over the trees. With a sigh I look at my watch. 'What time does Graduation start?'

She groans and rolls onto her back. 'Twelve. But I'm supposed to meet Bonnie and Veronica at your place at ten to get ready.' I choose not to comment on her calling it my house. We both slide off the hood and stretch.

'Speaking of Veronica.'

She makes a noise somewhere between disgust and irritation. 'What did she say?'

Laughing it off I shake my head. 'Nothing. She's just very … opinionated.'

She makes the noise again. 'Oh God she tried to sell you on the whole poor Damon crap didn’t she?'

Again I laugh. 'Not everything she said was wrong. She just has a very unique perception of things.' Again I attempt to choose my words correctly. 

She rolls her eyes. 'Unique my ass. She drank the Damon is a martyr kool-aid and has been trying to get us all to take a sip ever sense.'

I laugh as she moves around me toward the drivers seat. 'Well either way, I'm just glad he has somebody looking out for him.'

She stops at the door and looks back at me. 'Hey. We all look out for him thank you very much.' I'm surprised by the hint of indignation in her tone. 'God knows with how big of an ass he is he doesn't make it easy but the reality is, he is apart of our freaky quasi family. And so are you no matter how hard you resist. And we, including Damon, have always had each others backs. Even if while simultaneously wanting to stake one another in the back.' Smiling wider then I thought possible I lift an eyebrow and she glares. 'And if you ever tell him I said that I'll go torture chamber on your ass.' Laughing I get in the car and she follows. She starts the car and I stop her before she puts it in gear.

'We good?' I ask tentatively.

A huge smile spreads across her face. 'Always.' With a sigh I release her arm and she puts it into drive.   
After a minute I shift in my seat.

'So' 

Without pulling her attention away from the road she shakes her head. 'Unimaginable amounts of pain.'


	10. Chapter 10

Damon, Jeremy and I stand awkwardly waiting among the mass of people waiting to congratulate their loved ones. The silence between us might have been bearable if it weren't for all of the laughing and cheering around us. 

Damon rocks back on his heels, his arms crossed over his chest, and gives me an overly forced smile. 'Nice weather we're having.'

Jeremy shakes his head at him. 'Really?' 

Smirking, he shrugs 'What? I'm making conversation.'

Again Jeremy shakes his head. 'Dumb-ass' I laugh loudly and Damon shoots me a look which causes Jeremy to laugh. 

'What's so funny over here?' We turn in sync and come face to face with a smiling Veronica.

'Nothing.' Jeremy replies with a smile and walks over to give her a quick hug. 'Congratulations.'

'Thanks' 

'Yeah congratulations. You just wasted four years of your life on a piece of paper.' 

She punches Damon in the shoulder with what appears to be every ounce of strength she has. He stumbles back a bit from the force and laughs. 'Dumb-ass' 

 

Jeremy and I both let out a loud laugh and Damon glares at us. 'Congratulations.'

She beams gratefully back at me. 'Thank you Stefan.' Her face turns stern and she points a scolding finger at him. 'Don't be saying any of that crap when everyone else gets here Damon.' Instantly I sober up at the thought and look him over trying to see if he's taking her serious or not. I really don't want to kick his ass today.

He shakes his head his trademark smirk in place. 'I'm not an idiot.'

She snorts humorously. 'Well then you're one hell of an actor.' I'm just barely able to bite back a laugh.

'Where's everybody else?' Jeremy asks while looking around, bouncing anxiously on the balls of his feet. 

She rolls her eyes. 'Caroline's Mom caught us just outside the gate.' Damon smirks and Jeremy laughs, instantly I feel like an outsider. Veronica turns to me as if sensing my discomfort. 'The Sheriff hate's me.'

'Why?' I'm honestly curious. 

She shrugs with mock confusion. 'I have no clue. I'm awesome.'

Jeremy shoots her a look. 'It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you met her for the first time while being hauled off in handcuffs.' 

She squares her shoulders defensively. 'Hey the little barista bitch had it coming, I clearly told her'

'Two add shots and Soy Milk.' Damon and Jeremy finished simultaneously.

A pout formed on her face and she crossed her arms. 'Well I did.'

'I'm completely lost.' I'm a bit startled by Damon's hand slapping against my back.

'Consider your self lucky.' He smirks and she glares while making a face at him. 

Their little back and forth goes on for a bit longer until finally, Bonnie, followed by Elena, Caroline and Matt, came into view. Jeremy rushes forward and picks Bonnie up in his arms and kisses her. She giggles as he puts her down and touches his forehead to hers. I'm not able to hear what they're saying to each other but the huge smiles on their face's are telling. Everyone passes them by while laughing. I meet Caroline's eyes and she's practically glowing. Somehow Matt end's up at my side before her, so I turn and shake his hand, pulling him into a quick hug. 'Congratulation's.'

'Thanks man.'

I turn to face Caroline and am met with Bonnie's smiling face. I pull her into a hug. 'Congratulation's.' I glance over her shoulder and see Caroline talking to Veronica and Jeremy. She glances up and shoots me an apologetic smile. Laughing I turn back to Matt and Bonnie. 'So did you guy's think you were going to ever make it here?' The both burst with laughter.

Matt shakes his head while slapping me on the back. 'Man, we didn't think we were going to make it to high school graduation.' We all laugh knowing it's the truth.

'What is so funny that my best-est friend can't congratulate me?' Her voice is playful and coming from over my shoulder. Smiling I turn abruptly and pick her up in a hug. She screams and let's out a giddy laugh. 'Put me down!' Laughing, I comply with her demand and bring her back down, as soon as her feet hit the grass though I pull her into my arms. 'You did it.' 

I feel her relax as if she'd been holding her breath. 'I did didn't I?'

'Congratulations.'

'Thanks.' We pull back and take a step apart. 

'So? How do you feel?' I search for any signs of her earlier reservations.

She instantly starts chewing on her bottom lip uncertainly but still is unable to stop smiling. 'I'm not sure.' She looks around at the mass of people. 'I don't think it's hit me yet.' 

Suddenly Elena and Damon appear beside us. Elena is looking to Caroline and Damon is giving me a look I know all to well. It's amusement. Shaking my head I tune back into the conversation. Caroline is nodding in agreement to whatever Elena has just said.   
'OK well we'll see you guy's later then.' Elena looks over at me and I feel like I'm missing something. Did she ask me something? She gives me a small smile and pulls Damon along behind her. Once they're out of hearing distance, Caroline shoves me. Hard. 'What?'

'What do you mean, what?' Thoroughly confused I rub my shoulder. She put her hands on her hips and gives me a scolding look. 'Stefan you didn't congratulate her!'

'What? Yes I' I glance in the direction they disappeared to and I realize I didn't. Guiltily I look back. 

'She's going to think you did it on purpose!'

'But I didn't!' 

'Maybe not but she's doesn't know that.'

'Come on it's not that big of a deal.' Even as I say it I feel bad. She just gives me a look. 'OK! I know. I just - I guess I can call her.' I try to keep the uncertainty out of my voice as I pull my phone from my pocket. 

'You can not call her!' She shouts incredulously before shoving me again.

'Stop doing that!'

'I will as soon as you stop being a jerk!'

'I'm not' I trail off, feeling the stares of the people around us. I can only imagine what their thinking. I turn and sure enough people are watching. It's then that I realize that we're the last of our group left. I turn back to her and she seems just as uncomfortable by the attention as I am. I grasp her upper arm gently, urging her forward. 'Can we talk about this somewhere else?'

'Yea, fine.' Subtly she pulls from my grasp and walks off while undoing her gown. I'm left with no choice but to follow. We're in the parking lot beside her car when she turns back on me with frustration. 'Tell me you didn't do that because of what I told you.'

'What?' It takes a second for me to catch up with her line of thinking. 'No. I told you it wasn't on purpose.' My words end on a weak note because the guilty thought sneaks into my mind that maybe subconsciously I had.

She groans and pushes my shoulder rougher then I think she meant to. 'Stefan!' She whines guiltily.

'You can't possibly make me feel any worse then I already do.'

'Stefan.'

'I know. I screwed up.'

'Stefan.'

'There's nothing I can' She stumbles backward and I notice that her attention is no longer on me. The look on her face has me on alert in an instant. I turn, following her gaze and take a step back toward her when my eyes lock on a smiling Klaus.


	11. Chapter 11

He's on the opposite side of the parking lot and when he realizes it's me his smile fades. I see his hard gaze flick to Caroline then back to me. 'Get in the car.'

She grabs my arm and pulls me back toward her. 'Stefan just leave it alone.'

'Get in the car and go Caroline.'

'I'm not leaving you here.' The urgency in her voice makes me look back at her and she gasps. I turn and come face to face with a smiling Klaus.

'Well if it isn't the lost Salvatore.' 

'What the hell are you doing here Klaus?' His gaze flicks to Caroline and even I can admit to seeing his face soften. 

'I knew the lovely Caroline was Graduating and figured since I was there for the last one.' His words are pointed and my entire body goes rigid. Also there's something in his tone, as if he's saying something to her without saying it and it sparks a flame of irritation inside of me. 'It only seemed fitting that I be here for this one.' I take another defensive step back toward her and her hand slides down into mine then the other covers them. She's shaking and I know it's partially my fault for putting the thought in her head that he would hurt her. The movement seems to catch his attention because the softness that was there a mere second ago is suddenly gone. There's fire in his steely gaze and he looks ready for a fight. Caroline takes a quick step around me, placing herself firmly between us. 

'OK.' The cheerful tone in her voice is only betrayed by the shaking of her hands. 'This is supposed to be a happy day.' 

Without falter his eyes flow down her body\before meeting her's once again. 'Per usual love, you look absolutely stunning.' I can see the tension in her shoulders ease at the softness of his voice and I know he's getting to her. 

'Thank you.' Seemingly forgetting me for the moment his smile widens. 'And thank you for coming, you didn't need to.' 

'I'd do anything to see that smile.' Apparently no longer afraid she drops her shoulders completely. Without meaning to, a low growl rips it's way passed my lips. Almost amused he pulls his attention from Caroline whose suddenly gone rigid again. 'And how are you old friend? Last I heard you were being a naughty little ripper.' He smirks.

'Klaus.' There's a hard warning in her voice and he spares her just the briefest of glances before turning his taunting eyes back on me. 

'Don't worry love, I have only the highest regards. Though next time perhaps I could be of some help in saving him.' He says with a sort of laugh, like it's a punch line to his own personal joke. 'Perhaps compel him to stop ripping peoples throats out.' I want to rip his throat out. More then that I want to get Caroline into the car and get her as far away from here as possible. 'Then again I may be the only one who actually enjoys dehumanized Stefan.' The humor in his eyes has Caroline tightening her grip on my hand.

I've just about lost my last spec of restraint when she moves her head, blocking his line of sight and placing her hand on his chest, effectively gaining his attention. She straightens with a smile of her own. 'Don't worry if he ever needs saving again, I'll be there.' His entire face turns to stone as his eyes search hers. 

'Well then. Lucky for him.' A moment passes as he just stares at her, then as if breaking some kind of spell he takes a step back, smiles boyishly then bows and kisses her free hand. 'Congratulation's love.' I have to fight the urge to yank her away from him. She nods and says a weak thank you. He stands straight, shoots me another amused smile. 'Stefan.' He takes a few retreating steps backward while smiling at Caroline. 'I'll be seeing you.' Before I can so much as blink hes gone.

She lets out a long breath. She gently pulls her hand from mine and drops it to her side, the other one rakes back through her hair. I take a moment to reign in my anger but she turns to face me before I'm able to. She looks me over for a second and I can only imagine what I must look like right now. I'm still fighting the urge to go after him and snap his neck no matter how futile it would be. For a brief instant I realize how violent my thoughts have become since coming back here. Then the thought is gone and I'm right back to wanting to cause him as much harm as possible. 

'Stefan.' The calming tone of her voice doesn't have it's usual effect. Shaking my head I take a step back from her. She meets my stride with a step forward. 'Calm down.' I force myself to push it as far down as possible before forcing a smile onto my face.

'Are you OK?'

She smiles reassuringly. 'I'm fine. I promise.' She tilts her head toward the car, sensing that I'm not ready to discuss what just happened just as much as she doesn't want to. 'Let's get going. We'll stop by so you can apologize to Elena before dinner.' With a tight nod I watch as she pulls her gown off and tosses it distractedly through the open back window along with her cap. When she turns to open the door I finally notice what she's wearing and I realize why Klaus` eyes had lit the way the did.

'What?' The uneasy look on her face makes me laugh. I feel the last of my anger fade to the back of my mind for the time being. 

I shake my head and step forward, she looks at me with uncertainty. With a smile I lean forward and seem to surprise her when I kiss her on the cheek. 'You look beautiful.' She blushes while looking down at her dress. 'I apologize for not saying it before.'She nods and I make my way around the car. 

Neither of us say anything the entire drive, that is until the house comes into view and I'm hit with another wave of unease. 'Do I have to do this?' She only looks at me in response. 'What the hell am I supposed to say? I'm sorry I forgot to congratulate you – I think it might be because I hold resentment toward you for something other then the fact that your now sleeping with my brother?'

With a laugh she pulls up the drive. 'Sounds good. But maybe just stop after I'm sorry.' We laugh and she bounces out of the car. Reluctantly I follow her to the door. She opens it without knocking and the stomach turning thought that we might be walking into something I'm really not ready for, hits me hard. On instinct I grab her wrist and pull her back outside.

'What?'

'What if we're' I swallow down the bad taste in my mouth and drop her wrist. 'Interrupting something.' She looks confused and then sympathetic before settling on disgusted.

'Ewe.' She pulls the door closed then knocks. We stand there, silently, uncomfortably waiting for only a few seconds before the door opens revealing Damon. I thank every God listening that he is fully dressed. 'Where's Elena?' Caroline shoves past him and he gives me a look of irritation before he walks off. I know it's not because we're here but because of her permanent attitude towards him. 

I'm still standing outside when he turns back in confusion. 'What?' His shoulders square in preparation for a fight. 

Laughing lightly I walk in and shut the door. 'Believe it or not Damon, I didn't come here with the intention of fighting. I would never intentionally hurt Elena, you know that. I just wanted to apologize.'

'OK.' He nods uncomfortably then disappears into the living room.

'Actually that's not entirely true. I also wanted to talk to you about something.' 

His head pops out from the doorway and he raises his eyebrow looking truly put off. 'Is this the part where we bare our souls and renew our brotherly bond? Because I'd really rather not.'

'No. This is the part where I tell you that Klaus was at the Graduation.' He comes back into the room, his jaw set, and crosses his arms.

'What happened?'

'Nothing. He was gone just as fast as he appeared.' I shrug, not really interested in going into the details. 'Before he left though he told Caroline that he'd be seeing her.' His jaw twitches and I step forward. 'I leave in a few days, I can't ask her to come with me, she'll think I'm asking her to run away and she won't do that.'

'So stay.' He shrugs as if it's a simple solution.

With a sigh I shake my head. 'I can't do that.' Guilt flashes into his eyes for the briefest of a moment. 'I know that she can take care of herself, but I need to know that she'll also have someone here who's going to have her back if he come's after her.' 

He rolls his eye's dramatically. 'The guy is in love with her Stefan, he isn't going to hurt her.'

I can't hold back my irritation with his and Caroline's flippant attitudes. 'He isn't in love with her, he's obsessed with her. He's a sociopath Damon, a mass murderer who killed his own Mother when he didn't get what he wanted. What's going to stop him from killing her too? ' I'd made sure to not raise my voice but still I was breathing heavily. 

Damon stares at me for a few seconds then gives me a placating smile. 'Fine. I'll watch out for her or – whatever.' 

Even through his sarcasm, I know he means it. 'Thank you.' 

He gives a short nod before awkwardly nodding toward the living room. 'Now can we?'

'Yeah. Oh uh – actually, you go ahead, there's something I saw in the vault yesterday that I wanted to get.' He nods and without question disappears into the next room. 

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

'Hey.' I turn to face Elena as she walks into the Vault. 'Damon said you wanted to talk to me about something.'

Of course he did. 'Hey. Yeah – I just' I place the old tea pot back into the box as she steps beside me. Awkwardly I pull her into a hug. 'Congratulation’s. I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to say it before everything was kind of crazy.' 

We pull away and she shrugs while smiling. 'Thank you and it's OK really. I get it.' I can't tell if she's being sincere but she appears to be just as eager to change the subject as I am. With a smile she gestures to the box. 'So what were you doing?' 

'Oh, uh nothing really. I was just looking for something.'

'Oh OK. Well here I'll help you look.' 

'Oh – uh.' 

Seemingly oblivious to my discomfort she starts shifting things around in another box. After a few seconds she stops and looks up at me and laughs nervously. 'What are we looking for?'


	12. Chapter 12

As Elena and I make our way back toward the front of the house we hear Caroline growl in frustration. 'God why are you so irritating?' 

'What can I say? You bring out the best in me.' 

Damon's teasing tone only infuriates her more and she lets out a screech. 'Stefan it's time to go!' 

'Stefan it's time to go!' He mimics her. 

She lets out a screech. 'Now please! Before I lose my last bit of restraint and drive the coffee table through your brother's chest!' Laughing Elena and I walk into the room. 

'And we wouldn't want that. I really like that coffee table.' Elena says teasingly. 

Damon makes a face at her then looks to me. 'Did you find what you were looking for?'

'Yeah.' I pat my jacket pocket, Damon lifts an eyebrow and I turn to Caroline. 'Are you ready?' She nods quickly and steps around me, disappearing into the entry way.

'Awe but I thought we were bonding.' Damon quips.

I listen as she growls, opens the front door and a second later opens and closes the car door. When she starts the car I laugh lightly, shake my head and take a few steps backward. 'I feel so much better knowing that you two are looking out for one another.' His eyes flash in surprise and he doesn't respond when I give them a nod. 'I'll see you guy's later.' I slide into the passenger seat and just barely shut my door before she's speeding out of the driveway without a word. We're at the end of the street at a stop sign when she turns to me. 

'Everything go OK?'

I shrug as she starts to drive and I turn on the radio. 'Yeah. She didn't seem too upset.'

'Good. Oh hey put it back I love that song.' I go back and she starts to hum along to a song I can only describe as depressing. 'So what is it?' She seems nervous.

Confused I turn in my seat. 'What's what?'

'Whatever you got out of the vault.'

'Oh uh. Nothing.' I'm surprised when she doesn't call me out on my lack of an answer. 'Hey can we stop by the B&B before we go to dinner? I need to change.'

'Yeah sure.' She turns at the next stop sign and is silent for the rest of the ride. When she pulls up outside the B&B she doesn't move to get out. 

I stop on the side walk and lift an eyebrow. 'You coming in?' 

'Yeah.' She gets out without another word and follows me up the walk and up the stairs to my room. She walks ahead of me and sits on the bed. Her silence worries me to the point where I have to stop myself from shouting at her to tell me what is wrong. 'I'll be right out.'

'Kay.' She nods without looking up at me as I disappear into the bathroom.

When I emerge ten minutes later shes still sitting on the bed, now though there's a glass of scotch in her hand and shes staring blankly at the wall. I sit beside her on the bed and take the glass. I take a large drink before handing it back to her. She swallows the rest in one swallow and stands up, setting the glass on the table.

'Ready?' I stare up at her for a few seconds trying to decide on whether it would be futile to try and force her to talk to me. I realize quickly that she isn't going to tell me what's wrong so I stand as well. She looks relieved for a moment before smiling brightly. 'Look at you.' She reaches forward and straightens my tie and her head tilts to the side. 'I've always loved the way you look in a suit.' I cock an eyebrow at her teasingly and she rolls her eyes. 'Doesn't matter if you're Werewolf, Human or Vampire. Boy's are boy's. One nice word and your ego's inflate to the size of Texas' Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes as she tugs lightly on my lapels.

'Care?'

Shaking her head she smooths her hands over my shoulders to rid me of any last wrinkles. 'I'm fine Stefan.' She drops her hands to her sides and tilts her head to toward the door with an attempt at a reassuring smile. 'Come on, we're going to be late.' She starts to walk away and in the second it takes for me to decide if I should stop her, she's nearly to the door. 

'Wait.' I know the look on her face. It's the look she get's when she is at war with herself. I grab her wrist and pull her back over to me. 

'Stefan we're going to miss our reservation.' She sighs.

'It'll be fine. I can be pretty persuasive when I need to be.' The corner of her mouth twitches up and I feel my own do the same. A strand of hair falls forward, covering her face and I tuck it back behind her ear. 'Tell me what's going on. Was it Damon? Did he say something?'

She snorts in mild amusement. 'I don't listen to half of the crap he says.'

A knot forms in my throat instantly and I am unable to talk. I know what this is about and it takes everything in me to keep my anger from earlier to come bubbling back up to the surface. She sits down at the small table and refills her glass. As she sets the bottle back down it clinks against the bracelet around her wrist. I watch the clearly new piece of jewelery closely as it moves with the glass up to her lips then back down to the table. Her other hand appears over it and her fingers brush lightly over the glittering diamonds. 'It' Her voice is shaky and she clears her throat. 'It was on my seat when I came out of the house.' She shakes her head and lifts her hand up to show me. 'I tried it on and now I can't the clasp undone.' Her hand falls back to the table with a loud clink. She lets out a dark laugh. 'Which makes sense. He probably had some spell put on it or something so that I would have a constant reminder of him.' Breathing deeply I walk over and sit across from her. Reaching out I pull her wrist over and easily unhook the clasp. She lets out a little sob and I turn the piece of jewelery over in my hand. We both stay quiet for a long time and I know it's because she doesn't know what to say either. 

'It intrigued you.' 

'What?' Her voice is scratchy.

'The bracelet.' Giving her an understanding smile I drop the now clasped bracelet over the neck of the scotch and we watch as both gleam against the overhead light.

'Oh. Yeah. I guess. For a second.' She shook her head and tucked a phantom strand of hair behind her ear.

'Sometimes a second is long enough.' 

She looks up at me with narrowed eyes, seeming to catch on to what I'm saying. 'Stefan.' It's her, don't go there, tone.

'Care, I get it.' I try to reason and her head jerks back.

'You get what?'

'You're curious. You're wondering what it would be like, being with someone like him.'

She shakes her head furiously. 'No, I'm not.' She seems so adamant about it that I feel some of my anger from earlier dissipate and sympathy take its place. 

'It's OK Caroline.' I try to make my tone softer this time. 'You've only been a vampire for a short time. It's completely natural to want to let go. See the world from the other side.'

'Stop it! I'm not now or have I ever been interested in going dark side.' She looks furious with me.

'Of course not. I know that. But wanting to see the world from his point of view, I understand that. Better then most.' She seems to waver in her resolve as her eyes cut guiltily away from mine. 'It's nothing to be ashamed of. You deserve to see the world in every way possible and you will multiple times over. I promise you.' I tug on her hand to make her look at me. 'It will be constantly changing and every day you'll find something new.' She's crying now and I wipe her cheek with my thumb. 'But Care, there's the right way to do it and the wrong way.'

She let's out a choked sob. 'He just- he get's in my head.' Abruptly she pulls her hand away and yanks the bracelet from the bottle. She flips it to show me the clasp where something is written on the inside. Your last I take the bracelet from her and look at it again. 

'What does it mean?' My stomach turns at the possibilities and she fills her glass again.

The scotch sloshes onto the table as she continues to swipe tears from her eyes. 'It's what he said to me, after graduation. He had just told me that Tyler was free to come back' She laughs darkly again while slamming the bottle down, her glass filled to the rim. 'Then he told me that, while Tyler was my first love, he intends to be my last.' She lifts her glass and takes a drink. My stomach drops at her words and slowly I put it back on the table. I grab the bottle and swallow two large gulps. She's staring at me, I can feel it. 'Stefan?' Her voice is worried. 

'Is that what you want?' 

'Of course not.'

I can't help it, I laugh. 'Right.'

'It's not.' When my only reply is a nod of my head she moves her head to look at me. Her tears are gone and in their place is irritation. 'It's not.'

I shrug and give her the most sincere smile I can. 'OK.' I take another drink from the bottle and set it on the table before standing up. 'We should get going though.' I'm straightening out my jacket when she get's up and walks over to the table beside my bed and picks something up. 

She turns back to me with a small smile. 'What's this?'

Her teasing voice has the tension easing inside of me for the moment. I let out a dramatic sigh while stuffing my hands deep into my pockets. 'That was your graduation present.'

She lifts an eyebrow. 'Was?' When she makes to open it I move over to her side and take it from her. 'Hey!'

'Yes. Was.' I toss it into the drawer and close it. 

'Why was?' She's pouting and I sigh. 'Stefan!' 

'No.'

'How come?' When I unintentionally glance at the table where her bracelet is still sitting her face softens and she moves past me to open the drawer. 

'Caroline.' Resigned, I sit on the bed, and em to embarrassed to watch as she undoes the ribbon. When she hands the piece of fabric to me I take it with a sigh. 'It's not nearly as nice as that one or anywhere near as expensive.' She hands me the lid and the now empty, tiffany's box. Unable to stand the silence I look up at her. She's staring at the simple two strand chain bracelet, her thumb moving over the silver infinity charm in the middle. Again her silence is unnerving. 'I got you something else so I mean if you don't like it, it's OK. I just, I wanted you to have something to remind you that,' She's yet to look at me, probably thinking how incredibly cheap it looks compared to Klaus's and I feel foolish. 'you can do anything you want. Your future is limitless.' Clearing her throat she holds it out to me. My stomach falls again. She thinks it's stupid. Idiot

'Will you put it on for me?' She's crying and tentatively I take it from her. After I click the clasp in place I look up at her. 'Stand up.' Still uncertain I rise to my feet. I stumble back as she throws herself into my arms.

'So then, you like it?'

With a laugh she pulls away. 'I love it.' She runs her fingers delicately over the charm. 'It's … it's perfect Stefan. Thank you.' She beams at me and I can't help but smile right back in relief. After a second I look away and clear my throat.

'So uh – I guess you don't want the other gift then?' She gives me a curious look as I reach into my jacket pocket and slowly pull out two photos. Quickly I flip them over and back again. 

Her eyes widen bigger then I've ever seen them and she lets out a giddy squeal while reaching for them. 'OH MY GOD GIVE THEM TO ME!' I pull them out of reach and she attacks, knocking us both back onto the bed. I laugh as she fights for them, kicking her heels off in the process. When she get's them out of my hand she sits up on her knees, bouncing as she continuously switches from one photo to the other. 'OH MY GOD!'


	13. Chapter 13

'Oh my god!' 

I jump out of bed, on alert. Caroline is sitting up in the bed, her hand over her chest. Damon is leaning against the dresser across from us, arms and ankles crossed, an amused smile on his face. Suppressing a groan I sit back down and pull my hands through my hair. 'What are you doing here?' Not how, I know better then to ask how he was in my room. Caroline hearing that he compelled her childhood babysitter, would only lead to arguing, and it is entirely to early for that. 

'I brought breakfast.' He picks up a paper bag and swings it back and forth. The smell of the blood inside is distinctly animal. 'Though I'm not sure if there's enough for two.' He smirks while placing the bag back on the dresser. His smirk seems to irritate Caroline, who rolls her eyes. She tosses the blanket back, and the t-shirt that she's wearing, one of mine, comes to a stop just above her knees as she rises to her feet. Damon lifts an eyebrow at her, and ignoring him, she shoves past him to the bathroom. His accusing gaze follows her until she closes the door behind her. There's a moment of silence then he leans over and picks up her bra off of the chair and swings it on his finger with an amused smile. 'So, long night?' 

Only Damon can make such an innocent situation feel like we'd actually done something, less than innocent. I pause for a second, then get up and snatch it away from him. 'I've already told you, it isn't like that.' I pick up her things, and move them to the shelf in the small closet. 

He whistles in appreciation, and I turn back to find him holding the diamond bracelet up to the light coming through the window. It's glint hits my eye's directly and I have to look away from it. 'That's a lot of ice for just being friends.'

'It's not from me,' I grab a white t-shirt from my open suitcase and pull it on over my muscle shirt. 'Klaus left it in her car yesterday while we were at the house.' 

The amusement is gone and he turns it over in his hands. Finding the inscription, he lifts an eyebrow. 'Your last?'

My gut wrenches again at the words and I glance at the closed door. Though I'm not sure she's listening, I know it's not a story she want's shared. 'I don't know.' I shrug it off while grabbing the paper bag and sitting down at the table.

'You seem much calmer over the situation then you were yesterday. What happened to the whole, begging me to take care of her because he's a sociopath who will kill her without so much as blinking?'

The bathroom door opens and Caroline glares at me before moving back passed Damon and sitting down across from me. So, I guess she was listening. 'He isn't going to kill me.' She says it like it's the most ridiculous idea she's ever heard.

I slide her a half filled glass, bite my tongue, and pour another one for myself. Damon scoffs at her. 'Yes because that's such a far leap from stalking.' He moves the bracelet around so it glitters at me mockingly. 'Today it's Diamonds on you're dashboard, tomorrow it'll be puppy heads in your bed.'

'Ugh! Damon! Seriously?' She slams her glass down and pushes it away while glaring at him.

 

He rolls his eyes at her. 'What, it's not like you're drinking puppy.' She continues to glare at him, then reluctantly reaches for her glass again. 'I caught Bambi there myself.'

'Damon.' I don't shout, but he get's the point. 

'Fine, I'm sorry blondie.' I give him a look and he sighs dramatically. 'Caroline.' She smiles tauntingly at him, and he responds in an equally childish way. 'So what are we going to do about your little hybrid lover?' 

'He's not my lover! I can't help what he feels,' I guess she can see what I'm thinking because she rolls her eyes. 'or what he thinks he feels.' There's a bite in her voice.

'There's not really anything we can do, is there? I mean, I obviously can't kill him, right?' Her eyes widen almost humorously. 'Anyway, he's probably already on his way back to, wherever the hell he came from, so there really is no point in worrying about it now, is there?'

Damon tosses the bracelet onto the table, clearly unconvinced by my words. 'So we just, let it go?'

'No. Of course not. I'm just saying we don't react until something happens.'

'You are impossible.' In a huff, Caroline rises to her feet.

'Where are you going?'

'Away from this insane conversation.' She makes her way toward the door, and I momentarily wonder how long it would take her to realize she isn't wearing any pants.

'Caroline. Wait.'

'No, I'm going home.' Hand on the door, she leaves no room for argument. I can feel the amusement on Damon's face, mirrored on my own.

'Just thought you might want to put something on first.' She stops, the door nearly shut behind her, then throws it open, and slams it closed behind her. I point toward the closet, and after snatching her clothes off of the shelf, she shoots a glare in my direction. 

'You're not funny.' As she shuts the bathroom door behind her, Damon pushes off of the dresser. 

'Well as great as this has been, I should get going.' 

'Hey.' He turns back at the door, an eyebrow lifted. I lift my glass. 'Thanks.' With an awkward smile the door opens, and swings shut behind him. Silence falls over the room, and my attention is drawn back to the gleaming gems in front of me. When Caroline comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later, she's still in my t-shirt, and her mood seems to have calmed considerably. I remain silent as she wanders over to the side table and picks up her phone, not wanting to say something to make her upset again. I pour us each another half glass, and when I turn to her, she looks less then thrilled by whatever she is reading on her phone. 'Everything OK?' 

She let's out a small laugh before shaking her head and tossing the phone to the other side of the bed where it bounces and falls to the floor. 'When was the last time the answer to that question was yes?' Her eyes meet mine and she smiles ruefully.

I'm stunned into silence for a moment, then slowly I shake my head. 'I don't know.' But I do. Before I came into their lives.

She walks over and sits in the chair across from me, looking tired all of a sudden. 'I'm sorry I got angry. I know you're just trying to look out for me.' I look down at my glass and she let's out a long, tired, breath. I look up, and she's staring out the window. 'I'm just so tired of worrying all of the time. I feel like we've all just been holding our breath for the last seven years. Just, waiting for the next horrible thing to happen.' 

I'm quiet for a minute, not sure of what to say. I glance at the bracelet shining brightly between us. Slowly I pick it up and turn it over in my hands. 'Close your eyes.'

Her eyebrows knit together and she looks me over apprehensively. 'What?'

Laughing, I sit my glass on the table and lean forward. 'Just do it. Trust me.' With a small sigh she sits up straight and closes her eyes. 'OK, now clear your mind. Whatever you're thinking about, just forget about it. OK, is it clear?'

With a huff, her eyes pop open. 'No it isn't clear. As soon as you tell somebody to stop thinking about everything, they start thinking about everything.'

Laughing, I scoot forward. 'Come on just try. Close your eyes.' She stares me down for a second then reluctantly closes them. 'Now take a deep breath.'

'I feel stupid.'

'Just do it.' She breathes in and exhales dramatically, making me laugh. 'OK, now try it again, maybe a little slower this time.' She inhales again, this time letting the air out slowly. 'Good. Again. Just focus on your breathing. In and out.' She takes a few more breaths, and I see the tension in her shoulders ease just a little. 'Now I want you to picture yourself, anywhere in the world.' I give her a few seconds, the corner of her mouth tugs up. 'Where are you?'

Her eyes are still closed and her voice is soft when she answers. 'Nowhere.' She breathes the word with a sort of wistful sigh. 'Everywhere. I'm just – driving.' I'm surprised by her answer, I expected for her to say something along the lines of Paris or maybe New York. The common responses. Then again, Caroline Forbes is anything but common. She opens her eyes, a blush filling her cheeks when she finds me staring at her. 'Why am I doing this again?' She seems flustered by her her admission.

I can't help staring for a moment longer, fascinated by the fact that she never ceases to surprise me. 'Go.'

'What?'

'Go. Right now.' Her eyes scan over my face, like she can't decide on whether I'm joking or not. She laughs, apparently settling on it being a joke. Smiling I scoot closer. 'I'm serious. Don't even pack anything. Just, get in your car and start driving.' 

Her face sobers, and she gives me this look, like I'm crazy. Then she says as much. 'You're insane.'

'Why?'

'Because, Stefan. I can't just leave.' She's talking to me like you would a two year old.

'Why not?'

'What do you mean why not?' She stands up, with purpose, takes two steps, then looks around the room looking slightly disoriented.

'You said you wanted to experience the world didn't you?' She pulls her fingers through her hair, refusing to acknowledge my words. I get up and follow her as she moves aimlessly around. 'Well you have to start sometime right? Why not now?'

'Stefan.' She says my name with a sigh as she picks up her phone.

'No. Caroline.' I take the phone from her and set it on the side table. 'I'm completely serious.'

'I know you are, and that's what's scaring me.'

'Just entertain me for a second. Please.' Reluctantly, she crosses her arms and meets my eyes. 'Give me one good reason why you can't go.'

She laughs and reaches for the phone on the table. 'Well for starters, Bonnie is getting married in three months.'

I take the phone back from her and toss it across the bed. 'She has Elena and Veronica here with her and you could be back in plenty of time for the wedding.' Glaring at me she crosses her arms challengingly.

'My Mom.'

'Would be ecstatic if you got far away from this town for a little while.'

'Money.' She says with finality. 'As in, I don't have any.' She smirks triumphantly, thinking she's won. I smile back and lift the bracelet to eye level. Her smirk fades slowly as she stares at it dangling from my index finger, clearly understanding what I'm saying.

When her gaze focuses back on me I drop my hand and take a step closer. 'Go, Caroline. Stop worrying about everybody else for once and just go live. Everyone will understand.'

I see a glint of hope in her eyes for a second, then it's gone and she shakes her head. 'Why am I even having this conversation?' Her voice is nearing frantic. 'Bonnie, will hate me.' I can tell that she's trying to convince herself now instead of me. 'She'll never speak to me again.'

'She'll be upset, but she will get over it. She just wants you to be happy.'

'Stefan.' Her voice is tiny all of a sudden, scared.

'I know, it's scary, but that's the best part. I mean, there is so much out there that you haven't seen yet, not only as a vampire, you just graduated Collage!' I reach out to grasp her shoulders and a small smile tugs at the corners of her lips and she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to hold it back. 'This is what normal people do after dedicating eighteen years of their lives to school, before dedicating the next forty to working some job that never pays enough.' She laughs and I let my hand drop to her wrist and squeeze lightly. 'You may not be able to have all of the normal things, but you can still have some of them.'

She's silent for a little while, I can see the gears in her head turning. She's fighting with herself. Trying to convince herself that this is both a good and a bad idea. After a few minutes I squeeze her wrist again and without looking up she asks halfheartedly. 'What about Bonnie?'

With a shrug I pull on her arm. 'Eh, I'll call Damon when I land in LA and let her know what's going on. Let him tell her.' It's only partially a joke, I'll probably tell Damon what's going on before I leave, perhaps as I am about to board.

'off of my ring, but I wouldn't put it past her to curse my blood supply for the next hundred years.' I only catch the tail end of the sentence but what I get has my chest swelling.

'Wait, does that mean you're going?'

She stomps her foot, no longer able to keep the smile off of her face. 'This is insane Stefan! I don't do spontaneous, I'm a planner!' She grabs the bracelet from my hand. 'Where do we even get rid of this thing?' Unable to contain my excitement I rush forward and lift her in the air. She lets out a surprised shriek before bubbling with laughter. 'I have to tell my Mom though.' Nodding I put her back down on her feet. 'And I have to pack some things because I can't leave with just a dress and your t-shirt.' Her hands are gripping tightly to my arms and there is a huge smile, matching my own, on her face.

'OK. We can do that. Go. Get dressed.' 

'Right. OK.' She turns toward the bathroom, takes three steps and stops, I wait for her to say she's changed her mind, but ten seconds later shes moving again and the bathroom door is shutting behind her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is something new for me which is partially why it's taken me so long to update. The majority of this chapter is read through texts, meaning there isn't much character interaction. I've never tried this before, so it took me a second to get into a flow. Anyway I hope it works for you and this will be the only chapter like this so if you hate it don't worry, we'll be back to regular format next chapter. Anyway, uh, enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> Oh also, no offence to any Miley fans .... <3 you guys!

 

* * *

 

 

 **What does a panic attack feel like?**  
  
**Can vampires have panic attacks?**  
  
**I think I'm having a panic attack.**  
  
**Stefan!**

 

 **You're not having a panic attack you're fine**  
  
**I'm about to board, call you when I land**  
  
**Don't text and drive  
**

 

 

 

 

  **Bonnie's pissed**

 

 

**Tell me you're not in Mystic Falls.  
**

**Caroline!  
**

 

In lieu of a response,her smiling face appears on the screen inviting me to a video call. Her frozen smile is replaced with a deep frown back-dropped by a sea of trees.  
  
'I'm not. I just needed to get out of the car.'  
'Where are you?'  
'Just outside of Tennessee.' Her voice is monotone, her eyes sad.  
'She'll get over it Caroline.'  
With a scoff she rolls her eyes. 'Easy for you to say, you didn't just listen to fifteen minutes of thinly-veiled comments about how crappy of a friend you are.'  
'She didn't say that.' Her eyes roll, this time connecting with mine for a second before once again moving away. 'Well if she did, which I don't believe she would, but if she did, then she's the one being a crappy friend. Not you. Anyway I don't think you would even know how to begin to be a bad friend.'  
Her lips twitch, and she shakes her head. 'I'm pretty sure ditching your best friend right before her wedding, is a pretty good place to start.'  
'Hey, I thought I was your best friend?'  
She laughs, a smile finally making its way onto her face, and shakes her head. 'Shut up.'  
I pause for a moment as she continues to walk. 'Care, don't go back.' She looks back at the screen, and just breathes for a moment, staring at me like she's not sure of what to do. Then, finally, she nods. 'Get back in the car.'  
'OK. Fine. Stop giving me your serious eyebrows. I'm going.'  
I laugh and she smiles back softly. 'Thanks.'  
'Bye.'  
'Bye.'  
  
I stare at the phone until after the disconnect screen disappears and my home screen takes it's place. I can see her clearly in my mind, standing in the middle of the woods, sitting in her car, biting her lip, and trying to decide which way she she should go. Forward or back. With a few swipes I open the camera and turn it on myself.

 

 

                                                                                                                

 **Drive**                                                                                                                

 

 

**Oh my gosh stop it!**

**OK! I'm going!**

**And you are.**

**My best friend.**

 

* * *

 

 

 

  **Dude**

 

A month passes, a month of texts and pictures, video and phone calls.

_'Oh my gosh Stefan, people are crazy everywhere. It's not just Mystic Falls.'_

_'I should have brought more blood bags with me.'_

_'I think I want a tattoo.'_

_'I watched the sun come up over the ocean this morning.'_

With each passing day her voice get's lighter, happier.

 

 

                                                                                                                     

**So I just got this and ….**

**I'm not sure of how I'm supposed to feel**

 

 

**OH MY GOD HE ATE A CAT?!**

**EWE! AND THE POOR KITTY!**

**STEFAN! WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?**

 

**He didn't eat it....**

**He named her.**

 

 

 

**He... what?**

**Apparently Elena called her an  
evil little soul sucker                                                                                                               **  
**which made her name obvious.**

**Oh my gosh**

**No.**

**He didn't.**

**Yep.**

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

**Breakfast?**

 

**Nothing like rattle snake in the morning**

**I got a flat**

**What? Are you OK?**

**Yeah I have a spare**

**… do you know how to change a tire?**

**Yes!**

**… really?**

**No.**

 

I talk her through her first tire change via video call.

 

* * *

 

 

**I'd call them crazy but …. well,**

**doppelgangers**

**vampires**

**witches  
**

**werewolves …. Hybrids**

**Damon owning a cat.**

**Damon owning a cat.**

 

 _'What tattoo should I get?'_  
_'I miss my Mom.'_  
_'I compelled a gas station attendant today.'_  
_'Oh my gosh I am in love with Jazz music.'_  
_'Has Damon ate the cat yet?'_  
  
I return to Mystic Falls for two days for my final tux fitting. Even though I stay at the B &B again, I visit with Damon and Elena before leaving to have Lunch with the Sheriff because Caroline says she sounds lonely despite her claims that she isn't. That night Damon and I go to the grill and get drunk. I wake the next day to the sound of Bonnie and Elena knocking on my door.

 

 

**Last chance for input!**

 

Done with my fittings, I can feel Elena watching me as we wait for Bonnie to finish with the seamstress. I scroll through my phone and try to ignore the feeling of her eyes burning a hole into the side of my head.

 

                                                                                                               

 

**Now you don't even get to see it until I get back**

**What?**

**Why not?**

**Ok fine**                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                                                       

 **Better?**                                                                                                               

**Ignoring you now**

 

'Who's that?' Still laughing I meet Elena's gaze. She lifts an eyebrow innocently. 'Caroline?' She has that lit to her tone, the one that tells me her words have an alternate meaning.  
Clearing my throat I lock my phone and stuff it in my pocket. 'Yeah.'  
'How is she?'  
Confused, I shift in my seat to face her better. 'Good?'  
She nods. 'Good. That's good.'  
'I thought you said she's been talking to you guy's everyday?'  
'Yeah. No, yeah, I mean she texts to see how things are going, sends pictures sometimes. When she calls it's usually just to see how everything's going with the wedding. I think she thinks we're angry with her, for leaving.'  
'Why would she think that?' I hear the defensive tone in my voice, can see her amused smile before it even begins to pull at her lips. 'I mean you aren't, obviously. So I don't know why she would think otherwise.' My change of tactic seems to amuse her even more. 'Stop.'  
'What? I didn't say anything.'  
'Right. Just like Damon hasn't been making his little comment's either.' She shifts her gaze away, feigning guilt. 'Right, uh-huh.'  
'We all just want you to be happy Stefan.'  
'And what makes you think that I'm not?'  
'Nothing. I see that you are. That's my point.' Her look tells me that I should understand what she means, but I honestly don't.  
Curiously, I shake my head. 'What is?'  
She seems annoyed with me, but before she can say anything else Bonnie comes back into the room.  
'So I officially fit into my dress and I am starving. You guy's wanna watch me eat lunch?'  
I push to my feet to meet her. 'Sounds good.'  
Elena rolls her eyes and follows us out.  
  
Somehow lunch turns into dinner and dinner in turn becomes another night of drinks, this time though everyone joins. It starts out well enough, everyone joking and laughing, but as the night goes on there are jokes that I'm not in on, stories that I'm not apart of, and it leaves me feeling like an outsider.  
I sit, silently swirling my drink, when Bonnie leans in and bumps her shoulder against mine. A car horn beeps on the street behind us. She smiles.'You ok?'  
I sit up straighter and set my glass down. Give her a tentative smile. 'Yeah. Why?'  
'You're quiet.'  
'I'm always quiet.' The joke falls flat and she just gives me an assessing look. Then abruptly she sits back and holds her phone out to me.  
'Here, take a picture of us.' Figuring she means Jeremy and herself, I take the phone. When she leans back toward me, I'm surprised. Not knowing what else to do but lean in, I hold the phone at arms length and smile. As soon as the photo snaps, she grabs her phone back and looks at it. With a smile she looks up at me. 'I'm really glad you're back Stefan.'  
With a nod, I glance around the table. 'Yeah. Me too.' And I am. I just can't help the off feeling in my stomach, like it still isn't completely right. As I glance at Damon and Elena on the other side of the table, I wonder if it'll ever feel right here. My phone sounds and when I look to it beside my glass, I find that my hand has been resting atop of it already. When I look at Bonnie she is pointedly avoiding my gaze.

 

 

 **You're there two days without me**  
**and you replace me?**

**I thought you were ignoring me?**

**I am**                                                 

 

I laugh and Veronica calls my name. 'So Stefan, what's it like living in LA? I mean how do you like,' She brings her wrist to her mouth and mimics taking a bite. My eyebrows shoot up in a mix of amusement and surprise as I laugh.  
'Really?' Elena is laughing as she swats her hand down.  
'What? I'm curious. I mean there's like, tons of people everywhere right?'  
'Some parts, yea. But where I live it's pretty quiet. Also I don't actually,' I gesture to her wrist awkwardly. 'you know. I drink from bags just like I do here.'  
She seems a bit disappointed with my answer for a second before perking back up. 'Have you met any other vampires there?'  
'A few.'  
Her eyes shine. 'We're they famous? Oh my gosh it's Miley Cyrus isn't it?' She leans back and shoves Damon who is sitting on the other side of Elena. 'I told you! There is no way she is famous without compulsion!'  
Damon narrows his eyes and gives her his signature _'idiot'_ look. 'Miley Cyrus isn't a vampire.'  
They start to argue back and forth and Elena leans forward to talk to Jeremy who is sitting across from her.

 

**Having fun?**

**Yeah**

**It's just … weird**

**Weird how?**

**I don't know I just feel … off**

**Like ripper spree off, or go home**  
**and never come back off?**

 

I roll my eyes like she can see me.

**Neither.**

**Just off.**

**Like … I don't know, like I don't belong here.  
**

**And I know what you're going to say  
**

**“Stefan this is your home.”**

**It is.**

**I know**

**It just doesn't feel like it right now.**

**Anyway.**

**How did the tattoo go? What did you get?**

**…...**

**Seriously?**

**Yep.**     

 

When I wake the next morning, I find Damon sitting at the small table in my room. He comes with the offer of breakfast and a ride to the airport. The ride is comfortable and he stays with me until we have to part ways. There's a moment of pause before he quickly pulls me in for a hug. 'I'll see you brother.' There's a waver in his voice, as if he isn't completely secure of his own words. He still is expecting me to leave and not come back. I drop my carry on and wrap my free arm around him. When we pull away I grip his shoulder, holding him at arms length.  
'I'll see you in a few weeks.' His eyes flash and he grips my arm for a second before we both let go.  
'Yeah.'

 

* * *

 

 

Two weeks later I'm woken by the sound of my phone beeping. Squinting out my window I see that it's just barely light out. Automatically my stomach drops, who would be calling so early? I grab my phone and see that I have two missed calls, and a text, all from Caroline. When I open the text, relief floods me and I let out a loud laugh.

 

 

**Weird.**

**That kind of looks like my apartment.  
**

**It does, doesn't it?**

**Strange.**

 

I throw my blanket back just as she knocks on the door. When I open it I stumble back, as she pushes her way in.  
'Oh my god why the hell do they call this place the Sunshine state?' She's rubbing her bare arms, wearing a tank top, sandals and shorts.  
I laugh and go to grab a blanket from the couch. 'They don't. That's Florida. And you're cold because we're about two minutes from the ocean and it's not even 6am.'  
She pauses for a second. 'Oh.' I wrap the blanket around her shoulders, rub her arms to try and quicken the warming process. A bright smile spreads across her face as she grips the blanket, making my own stretch wider.  
'Hi.'  
'Hi.'


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long to update. No excuses. Life, it happens, we all live it everyday. Thank you so much for sticking with me though! It's a bit short I know, but it's also kind of a filler. Something I needed to write to get the rest of the story flowing again. I know my feelings over it are mixed, so I'm also aware that others will be as well. Love it, Hate it, Feel Happy, Feel Sad, Leave Kudos, Leave Comments! <3 you all!

* * *

 

 

I'm just finishing breakfast when Caroline falls with a content sigh, into a chair at the table. She brings her foot up onto the seat as she continues to towel dry her hair. 'Do you know how nice it is to use a shower knowing you're who used it before me?' I raise my eyebrows in amusement as I set a plate of eggs, bacon and toast in front of her. Her cheeks flush as I sit down and she drops her leg. 'I mean, where I don't have to constantly imagine - because I already,' She stops abruptly, takes a deep breath and shakes her head. 'I just mean it's nice using a normal, clean, shower.' Her overly calm tone tells me that she's anything but. I laugh, and she tosses her towel at my face. 'Jerk.' She sits back and brings her leg back up to the seat, hugging her knee to her chest. She picks her fork up and scoops some eggs onto her toast.

'So, how long are you staying?' She raises an eyebrow questioningly.  
'Already trying to get rid of me?'  
'No. You're more then welcome to stay and enjoy my shower for as long as you'd like.' Her cheeks flush and she takes a bite of her toast. 'I'm just wondering if you'll make it back in time.'

'Yeah, I'm taking a shorter route, so - less stops. I was thinking, tomorrow afternoon. I mean, if that's O K? I don't want to like intrude on any plans you might have.' I must look confused because she makes a weird huffing sound then gestures around the room with her fork. 'You know... plans.' She lifts her eyebrows suggestively, waits for me to catch up.

'You mean, Women?'  
'Wow. OK. I'm just going to assume that's a no.'

Embarrassed, I pretend to laugh it off. 'No, no plans.'  
'Cool.' She reaches over and takes one of my slices of bacon. 'So, what are we doing today?'  
'Uh,' I try to subtly pull my phone from my pocket. She doesn't say anything so I figure I've succeeded. 'whatever you'd like.'  
'Stefan.' I look up and shes giving me an exasperated look. 'What did you just cancel?'  
'Nothing.' I shove my phone back in my pocket and pick up my fork. She laughs.  
'I just watched you do it!'  
'It was nothing, just my boss.'  
'You can't call off work, you'll get fired.'  
'I'm not going to get fired.'  
'What reason did you give?'  
I sigh. 'I said my Mother fell ill. What? I didn't say when. Anyway, I'll take care of it if it becomes a problem.' She narrows her eyes suspiciously while I get up to refill my coffee. 'Now, what do you want to do today?' She sighs heavily then rises and walks over to the refrigerator. After a moment she pulls out the cream and takes the spoon I hold out to her.  
'What do you normally do when you compel your boss to let you off of work?'  
'Cute.' She gives me a wide smile while I think it over. 'We can go to the pier. Though, it'd probably be more fun tonight when everything is lit up. We can walk 3rd, catch a movie, do some window shopping? There's a few art exhibits right now that are pretty interesting. Or we can just hang out at the beach if you want.' My nerves seem to amuse her. 'You know I'm not a planner.'  
She laughs and shakes her head. 'No, you did good. Sounds fun. Let's do it.'  
'Which part?'  
'All of it. Except maybe not the window shopping, or the movie, I'm kind of broke. I have enough for gas to get back, but that's it.' She sighs dramatically then bounces back over to the table. She grabs the toast with her eggs on it, and makes her way toward my room where I put her bag. 'I'll get dressed, while you jump in the shower.'  
'I'll try not to take that as a subtle hint.'  
'When am I ever subtle?'  
She disappears into the room and I head into the bathroom. It isn't until I'm out of the shower that I realize I'd forgotten to get clothes. So with nothing but a towel around my waist, I knock on my bedroom door. She throws it open with a laugh that stops short. 'Sorry, forgot my clothes.' Silently she moves aside. 'I guess I'm just used to being alone.' She laughs lightly and goes over to the bed where her make-up is laying out. I grab my clothes from the drawers and make my way back to the bathroom. When I come back out shes in the kitchen cleaning up the last of breakfast.  
'You ready to go?'  
With a nod she grabs her keys and follows me out the door.

 

* * *

 

 

It's late when we get back. So late that we have to step lightly through the hallway, so as to not wake my neighbors. Caroline leans her head against the huge rainbow colored teddy bear on her hip. I shake my head as she moves past me into the apartment. 'That thing is ridiculous'  
'Stop hating on my bear Stefan.' She collapses onto the couch and kicks her shoes off. I sit beside her and grab the bear from her.  
'I guess you can put him in the passenger seat and drive carpool.'  
'Oh my gosh you're so funny.' She laughs sarcastically and puts her feet in my lap. She grabs the bear back and balances it on her stomach, blocking her face from view. She's quiet for a moment. 'You know when we were little, Bonnie had this teddy bear, Miss Cuddles. She loved the thing.' She laughs. 'We got in this fight and I got really mad, so I stole it and buried her out in the woods.'  
Laughing I grab the bear from her. 'Does she know?'  
'No.' She laughs again. 'As a matter of fact, she blamed Jeremy. He got into so much trouble.' Off of my disbelieving look she covers her face. 'I was going to give it back! I forgot where I buried her so I just never told her. I even tried again a few years ago, I thought it would be a cute birthday present, but all I could remember was this big rock. But I could never find it. Oh my gosh Stefan, she was so sad when she couldn't find her, and Elena was so mad at Jeremy. I remember just standing there while she told her Mom on him.'  
'Wow.'  
'Shut up!' She laughs with her whole body; sits up and takes her bear back. Her smile is content as she looks it over. My eyes fall onto a lock of her hair and without thinking I reach out and take it between my fingers.  
'Did you have a good day?'  
'Yeah. I did.'  
Her tone is soft all of a sudden. 'Hey.' I reach up, place my hand at the base of her neck, to guide her eyes up to mine. 'You OK?' She smiles and laughs.  
'Yeah.' I must not look convinced because she wraps her hand around my forearm, removing my hand from her neck and into her lap where she wraps both of her hands around mine. She laugh again. 'I'm fine.'  
'Yeah?'  
'I'm good, Stefan. Really. I think I'm just tired.'  
'Oh. Ok. Yeah. Go ahead.' She removes her feet from my legs and starts to get up.  
'You sure?' She's already on her feet.  
'Yeah, uh, I'll see you in the morning.'  
'Yeah.' She get's to the door and then turns at the last second. 'Thank you.'  
'For what?'  
She waves at me with the bear's paw then laughs and hugs him to her stomach. 'I love him.' She smiles, starts to turn and stops. 'And also, for today. It was a lot of fun. Probably the most I've had this entire trip.'  
'I'm glad.'  
With one last smile she says goodnight and shuts the bedroom door behind her.

When I wake up in the morning, she's gone.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK guys you have no idea how much anxiety it is giving me to post this chapter lol. I've had Chapter 16 & 17 written since I finished 15.... my problem is that I'm kind of stuck on 18 .... and literally just 18 right now because I even have some of 19 & 20 written. UGH! The idea was to write as many as possible so that I can stop making ya'll wait so damn long. Five or six chapter would have been awesome, but alas, I am me and I have the patients of a two year old. I'm literally that person who buys Christmas/Birthday gifts months ahead of time .... and gives it to you like .... two months early lol. OH wow OK anyway getting back on topic, here is the new chapter, I hope you like, even though I'm having a full on panic attack right now lol Oh and as a quick little side note, in case I've never mentioned it before, be sure to check out my LiveJournal for story extras. LJ name: CoffeeLover88
> 
>  
> 
> Love it, Hate it, Comment, Kudos. All welcome!!!!

* * *

 

 

The flight seems shorter this time; as if one second I'm boarding, and the next Matt is tossing my suitcase into the bed of his truck.

'I hope it's cool if we make a quick stop. I have to pick up the tuxes and if I wait until after I think Bonnie may castrate me.'

'Yea, of course.' We exit the airport and Matt clicks on the radio. All of a sudden I can't remember if he and I have ever actually driven alone before, it's strange. 'So uh, I bet everything's pretty crazy right now.' He laughs like that's the biggest understatement ever.

'Yeah, you can say that.' His fingers tap nervously against the steering wheel when we come to a red light. I can tell he's just as uncomfortable as I am. 'We're all kind of just hanging on and praying Caroline makes it back before we all kill each other.'

'She's not back yet?' I don't mean to sound as pathetic as I do. Matt gives me a raised eyebrow then turns back to the road.

'No. She called this morning I think, was in like Norfolk or something.'

'Norfolk? Why would she be in Virginia?' He snorts.

'Yeah. If only.' He shoots me a scrutinizing look before returning forward. I know what he's thinking. But how am I supposed to explain to him that I haven't spoken to her since that night in my apartment. That she won't answer my calls or texts and that I have no idea as to why. 'Nebraska man.'

 

* * *

 

 

I can't sleep. It's such a strange thing, feeling like a guest in your own home. Everything around me is mine; my belongs, my history, but it all feels so foreign to me. I know that it's my fault, that I am making myself feel this way, because neither Damon, nor Elena have done anything to make me feel uncomfortable or unwelcome; It's just that after a century of living in this house, this bedroom suddenly seems too big, and entirely too quiet.

Tossing aside the covers, I make my way down stairs in hopes of finding a book to distract me. As I make my way toward the living room I notice the front door is open. I'm on alert for all of a second before I hear an indignant huff followed by a loud meow. I find her sitting on the steps, a folder balancing on her bare knees and Kat winding in and out of her ankles. She huffs.

'Shoo!'

'Hey.' She jumps up, dropping the folder in the process. Kat cries out and runs inside the house. When Caroline sees that it's me she huffs and picks the folder back up. She straightens her tank top and pulls nervously at her shorts before sitting back down.

'Hey.' She opens the book back to where she'd been and doesn't say anything else. With a sigh I sit down next to her, she doesn't even glance up.

'So, how many speed limits did you break getting here?' The joke falls flat and we sit in silence as she continues to look over the page. I tap the book. 'So you've seen Bonnie then? She must be ecstatic to have you back.'

'No. '

'Oh. I just thought,'

'I found it on the coffee table.'

'Oh.' We fall silent again and she flips the page with a snap.

'I'm surprised to see you here.' Her words sting.

'I uh, I mean I, I promised Bonnie,'

'Here, Stefan.' She gestures to the house behind us then returns to what I now see is the seating chart. 'I figured you'd be staying at Lydia's again.'

Oh. 'Is that why you're here? Instead of at your Mom's? Figured it was the last place I'd come looking?' I try again to joke.

'That's not what I meant.' She sounds bored as she scribbles out a name at table six.

'Would you please just,' Irritated, I grab the book out of her hand and slam it shut. 'stop for a second.'

'I'm busy Stefan.' She doesn't try to take the book back, just fixes her gaze on a spot the ground. My stomach twists and I reach out and weave my fingers in her hair at the base of her neck

'Will you just, look at me? Please?' With a heavy sigh she brings her eyes up to mine.

'There. Happy?' I search her face, looking for what, I don't know. 'Can I have it back now?' Her face remains blank as she holds her hand out. I drop my hand.

'Yeah.' She takes the book as soon as I hold it out to her, opens it back up in her lap and continues on with her task. 'Caroline,'

'Stefan.' She snaps in exasperation. 'Don't. Ok? Not now.' She slams the book shut and stands up, I follow her to my feet.

'Just tell me what I did wrong. Please.' She moves around Kat and into the house. 'Everything seemed great and then you were just, gone.' I shut the door, lowering my voice as I follow her down the hallway. 'Was it something I said? Whatever it was, I'm sorry.'

'You didn't do or say anything OK?' She stops at the foot of the stairs and turns to me. 'Now will you just let it go?'

'No, let it – Caroline you disappeared, and have been avoiding me since. And you won't tell me why. How am I supposed to just let it go?'

Her annoyance over the situation is evident as she pushes the folder into my hands and pulls her hair up into a ponytail. 'Fine, whatever. I'm tired and I'm going to bed. You can have this argument on your own.' She takes the folder and turns.

I know my eyes must be the size of saucers at the moment, and after a few seconds I realize that my mouth is hanging a bit open. By the time my brain has started functioning again, she's at the top of the staircase and disappearing around the corner. I reach her bedroom door before it's finished closing. I slip inside and shut it behind me. 'So then you admit that we are arguing about something?'

She gives me a wide eyed look of surprise for a moment, then irritation quickly settles in it's place. She turns and slams the wedding folder down onto her dresser. The fast turn has her ponytail swinging to the left and I catch the slightest bit of ink before it falls back into place, effectively hiding it from view. The day at the beach, she'd said she hadn't gotten one after all, because she didn't want to answer any questions about vamp speed healing. Without thinking about the fact that she's angry with me, I move up behind her and sweep her hair to the side. Her posture hardens as I slide the strap to her tank top over a bit. There on her right shoulder blade is a delicately lined infinity symbol with infinite beginnings worked into it in thin script. The thin lines make it look soft and yet the bold words bring a sort of strength to it. It's understated and yet full of meaning. Hopeful and sad at the same time. It's beautiful. 'It's you.' I brush my thumb over it, tracing the lines.

Caroline jerks all of a sudden, pulls away like I've burned her. She moves around me while yanking the strap to her top back into place. 'Yeah, well, I met a Vamp in Memphis who didn't charge much.' She moves across the room and to the opposite side of the bed.

I takes me a minute to realize that I've somehow made things worse, she can't even be near me now. When she begins to remove pillows from the bed and pulls down the comforters, I accept that she has no intention of having any kind of conversation tonight. She's tired, I can see it in her eyes.

'Goodnight, Stefan.'

I slip silently into the hallway and lean my forehead against the closed door. My fingers tap nervously against the door frame for a few seconds, before I push away. 'Goodnight.'

 

* * *

 

Come morning, despite how I early I wake up, she's once again gone. Damon is leaning against the kitchen island scrolling over an ipad and sipping from a mug when I wonder in. I find myself pausing at the sight, it's so, normal. He gives me a look from over the top of his mug and it shoves me into motion. I walk around him to the coffee pot, noticing the bottle of scotch sitting beside it. I grab a mug, forgo the coffee, and grab the scotch. Upon hearing the stopper being pulled from the bottle, Damon puts his ipad down and turns to me with a raised eyebrow.

'Bit early don't you think?'

I put the bottle back and hold my mug up in a silent cheers. 'Nope.' He looks amused as he watches me walk around the island and take a seat.  
'This have anything to do with why Caroline dragged Elena out of her at the ass crack of dawn?'

Thankfully, Kat chooses that moment to jump up on the counter between us, the tiny little bell on her collar, jingling away. She meows pitifully at Damon who gives me an unsure look for a second. Kat reaches up and bumps her head against his chin, so with an exaggerated sigh, he walks over to the door that leads to the back patio. Just inside the door sits an iron tray with two bowls. I try to hold back a laugh, it's so, cute, is the only word I can think of to describe it, like something you find in one of those Home Interior magazines. Kat jumps down to follow him, purring loudly as she weaves in and out of his feet. He dumps a scoop of food into one bowl before opening a gallon of water and filling the other.

He puts the bottle back under the counter and looks up at me with a glare. 'Shut up.'

'What?' A short laughs escapes before I cover it by clearing my throat. 'I didn't say anything.'

'Tap water is bad for them.' He defends anyway. 'Especially around here, you never know when some anti-vampire zealot is going to decide to poison the water again.'

'Again?' Somebody had poisoned their water?

He dismisses it with a wave of his hand. 'You're changing the subject. What's up with your girlfriend rushing out of her like a bat out of hell before the sun was even fully up?'

'I don't know.' I respond tiredly and stare blindly down at the scotch. 'And she isn't my girlfriend.' He makes a hmm sound and unlocks the ipad screen. His silence for some reason irritates me. 'What?'

'Nothing. It just took you a minute.' He says in a bored tone.

'What did?' He puts the ipad down and gives me a calculated look.

'Well before, when I'd call her your girlfriend, you were all like, GRRR!” He mimics claws with his hands. 'She's not my girlfriend.' The look of disinterest over-takes his face again and he leans forward on his elbows, distractedly tapping at whatever was on the screen. 'Now, it was just kind of an after thought.' When I don't say anything, his mask of indifference breaks and he gives me a cocky smile, the one he usually reserves for when he's proven right about something. I swallow the last of the scotch and slide my mug at him before getting up.

'Shut up.' His voice follows me out into the hallway.

'Oh my god, did it finally happen?' He follows me upstairs and into my room. 'It did didn't it?'

I look around for my phone and shoot him a look. 'You sound like a gossip hungry girl.' I find my phone under my pillow and check it for messages. None. I try not to be irritated as I shove it into my pocket.

'Hey you're the one who took off and left me here with a bunch of women.' He says defensively. I can't help but laugh while sitting down and tugging my shoes on.

'What about Matt and Jeremy?' He shoots me a look and I laugh even louder this time.

'Wait.' Suddenly he's Damon again. Cocky and mocking. 'Are you saying there is gossip?' I just give him a blank look and walk past him. 'Where are you going?'

'Out.'

'To look for Caroline? I can save you the time and just tell you where she is.'

'No.'

'Then where are you going?' He knows that he's bugging me, I can tell that by the tone in his voice.

'To find a big rock.'

He stops at the base of the stairs. 'Is that a threat? Because I've got to say, you've made better.'


	17. Chapter 17

It takes me two days of what feels like endless searching, but in the end I am successful. I'm exhausted and Caroline still hasn't spoken more then five words to me, but I know it's worth it. It's nearing midnight when I hear a door slam downstairs. A second later the undeniable sound of footsteps begins to ascend the stairs. My bedroom door flies open, hitting the wall with a bang. Caroline stops, she just stares at me, her eyes wide and angry. She seems lost for a second, like she doesn't know what to do next, then she's stomping over to my bed.

'What the hell is this?' She shoves the dirty stuffed animal at me. Dust flies in my face and makes me cough. I gently move her hand away with my wrist.

'Unless Mystic Falls has a teddy bear cemetery that I'm unaware of, I'm assuming that it's Miss Cuddles.'

She huffs and shoves it at me again. 'Where did it come from?'

I narrow my eyes at the stained tag on its butt. 'China?'

She doesn't laugh. 'Stefan!'

'What?'

'Stop it!'

'Stop what? I'm not doing anything.' I try my hardest to not smile at the agitation in her voice; this is the most she's said to me in days.

'Yes you are!'

'What am I doing?'

'I'm mad at you!'

'I know. I still don't really understand why, but I know. And you can keep being mad, it's fine.' She moves her hands like she doesn't know what to do with her arms. Finally she settles on hugging the bear to her chest. With a sigh, I swing my legs over the side of the bed and look up at her, she takes a step back. 'Look, I just, I don't know. I knew it bothered you, that you lost it. It's not a big deal.'

Her mouth opens and closes twice before she lets out a high pitched screech and shoves my shoulder, roughly. 'I hate you!'

'OK.'

'OK?' She asks disbelievingly.

'Yeah.'

She stares at me for a few seconds then looks down at Miss Cuddles, runs her hand over the bears head. I watch her struggle with herself before looking back at me. 'Thank you.' Her eyes are glossy and her voice is thick. Before I can say anything, she leans down, kisses me on the cheek and turns and walks out of the room.

 

* * *

 

 

When I wake up in the morning, the house is filled with noise and there's a cat asleep on my chest. It's a new experience to say the least. I wake Kat with a scratch on the head, making her stretch and yawn before moving into a ball on my pillow. I shower and pull on some clean clothes before making my way down stairs. The kitchen is full of people. Elena pats me on the shoulder as she walks by, a silent good morning. Damon is standing at the stove glaring at a pan as if it has personally offended him. 'What's wrong with you?'

Veronica laughs from her place in front of the coffee pot. 'He's pissed that he has to cook for all of us.'  
She walks over, a mug in each hand, and holds one out to me. I'm surprised by the gesture.

'Oh, thank you.'

She smiles and continues on to the table where everybody else is sitting. Everyone, but Caroline.

Damon gives me an irritated look. 'I don't understand why they have to destroy our house. Don't they have homes of their own?' He eyes my coffee and smirks. 'I figured that after all the door slamming last night, you'd be drinking the good stuff again this morning.' That's when Kat comes trotting into the room and butts my ankle with her head.

'Awe Stefan, she likes you.' Elena teases.

I squat down and pick her up. I give Damon my most taunting smile. 'Yeah. She was asleep on my chest when I woke up.'

Damon looks scandalized and Elena starts cracking up.

'OH. MY. GOD!' Everyone turns to look at Bonnie who is rushing across the room. Standing up, I turn around and find Caroline standing behind me in the doorway. She hands the bear over to Bonnie who holds it delicately.

'Holy crap! Is that,' Elena jumps up and rushes over. 'is that Miss Cuddles?'

'What?' Jeremy jumps to his feet.

Bonnie is giggling like a little girl. 'Caroline! Where did you find her?'

Veronica shakes her head in confusion, unable to see what Bonnie is holding. 'What's going on? Who's Miss Cuddles? Is it a kinky thing?'

Laughing, Elena moves so she can see. 'She's Bonnie's teddy bear from when we were little. She's been missing for like, ever.'

Bonnie shakes her head and turns to face Veronica, her smile still wide. 'Not missing, she was stolen.' Her eyes narrow accusingly at Jeremy who throws his arms in the air in exasperation. As if they've had this argument a million times.

'I didn't steal her!'

Elena gives him a disbelieving look. 'Really Jer? Still?'

'I didn't!'

'I don't get it,' Matt says. 'If Jer stole the bear,'

'I didn't steal the bear!'

'Then how did you get it Care?'

Jeremy's eyes light up at the question. 'Hey, yeah. How do you have it?'

Everyone turns back to Caroline who stares back at them with wide eyes. 'Uh.' Her eyes meet mine for just a second before she looks back at Bonnie. Slowly she begins to tell them all the story about what really happened, and by the end, everyone, except for Jeremy, is laughing.

They're all sitting back at the table and Damon and I are still standing by the stove where he is frying bacon.

'I was grounded for a whole week.' Jeremy mumbles. Caroline gives him an apologetic smile and Elena laughs. 'And then for another week because when Mom asked where it was and I said I didn't know, she told me lying was bad.'

Bonnie hugs his arm. 'Awe poor Jer.' She kisses his cheek then turns back to Caroline. 'So you just remembered where it was all of a sudden?'

'Foods done.' Damon breaks through the moment. He hands me two plates and carries two of his own, over to the table. Following his lead I set the plate full of pancakes and waffles down and then the plate of scrambled eggs. He sits between Elena and Bonnie. When I sit down across from him, in the last empty seat, he gives me a wide smile as Caroline discreetly leans away. 'Dig in brother.'

 

* * *

 

 

That night is the rehearsal. We all have to be at the church at five, then back at the house to get ready for dinner which starts at seven.  
I'm just finishing getting dressed when Damon wanders into my room without knocking. 'So this should be interesting right?' He comes to a stop in front of my mirror and beings picking absently at his hair.

'What are you talking about?' I tie my shoe and drop my foot to the ground.

'The partners.' When I don't respond he sighs and turns to me like I'm an idiot. 'Matt's with Elena, you're with Veronica, and I'm,' He trails off as I snort a laugh. The thought of Damon and Caroline making it down the aisle without somebody getting psychically attacked, is hilarious.

'Who's bright idea was that?'

His smile widens evilly. 'Your girlfriends.' I can't help but stare, I can't be sure if he's serious or not. He looks serious.

'What?' I ask dumbly.

He turns back to the mirror with a smirk. 'Yeah, Veronica told me this morning.'

She can't be serious. I get that she's upset, but, come on! Damon starts talking again, but I'm not listening. Instead I get up and walk out of the room. Her bedroom door is open and she's sitting on her bed with Elena, doing her make-up.

'You can't be serious!' Elena stops mid sentence. 'You switched partners? To Damon?' Elena looks like she wants to laugh for a second, the idea just as hilarious to her as it is to me. Clearing her throat she gets up and leaves the room, shutting the door behind her. 'You've got to be joking right?' I try not to sound as hurt as I feel.

She averts her gaze, starts to gather her make-up into a bag. 'It's not a big deal. The pairings make more sense this way.'

Explain to me how the two of you murdering each other in the middle of the ceremony, makes sense.'

She shoves the last piece of make-up into the bag and jerks the zipper shut. She's getting angry. 'Elena and Matt are Maid of honor and Best man. I'm after Elena and Damon is practically Jeremy's brother-in-law, so that leaves you and Veronica.' The way she says it tells me that the brother-in-law comment was supposed to get to me. She seems irritated that she doesn't get the response she was looking for. 'Now are we done here? Because we're going to be late.' Without waiting for my response she gets up and leaves the room. With a sigh I follow her out, only to find Damon and Elena standing at the end of the hallway attempting to act as if they hadn't been listening. Well Elena is, Damon is laughing.

'This is funny?'

Elena shakes her head quickly. 'Not at all.'

Damon snorts. 'It's hilarious. You must have really pissed her off.'

Elena gives me a cautious look as a door downstairs slams. 'I know it's not my business but, what happened? I mean the last time we saw you guys together, you were, fine.' Damon snorts again and she elbows him hard in the ribs.

I give him a dry look and shake my head at Elena. 'I don't know.' It still feels weird talking to her, especially in regards to Caroline. 'I uh,' I glance at Damon who is listening with rapt attention.

'Go on.' He urges, causing me to roll my eyes and walk away. As I descend the stairs I hear Elena scolding him.

I don't really think it through as I walk out onto the front porch and shut the door behind me. I hear Kat purring before I realize I'm not alone. She's sitting curled in Caroline's lap, her head rubbing into the palm of her hand. When she see's me her attention diverts for just a second before she rises and rubs her head against Caroline's chest. Clearly she's chosen a side.

It's quiet for entirely too long before it becomes glaringly obvious that Damon and Elena are listening on the other side of the door. Irritated with the entire situation, I huff and kick the door with the back of my foot. Caroline jumps at the sudden sound, turning to look at me like I'm crazy. I hold up a finger in response then point at the door which opens as if on cue. Kat sees Damon and bounds out of Caroline's lap. She walks past Elena as if she doesn't even see her and trots right up to Damon. Elena hiss at the cat, making her jump and run in the house. Damon glares at her but Elena just smiles and walks off to the car.

He turns his glare to Caroline who is just standing up and tilts his head thoughtfully. 'What are you still doing here Blondie? I thought you did the whole “dramatic storm-off “ thing, already.'

She glares at him, clearly angry with him now as well. 'I seem to have misplaced my keys.' She says pointedly, her words biting.

'Hmm. Well I suppose you'll have to ride with us then won't you.' He smirks as he walks by me. 'You can squeeze in the back with Stef.' He drops his hand and walks past her not looking back at either of us. 'You don't mind do you Stefan?'

Elena shoots him a look from her side of the car and turns to us. 'Stefan, your legs are longer then mine. I'll sit in the back.' I mumble a quit thank you as we cross paths and she smiles back. Caroline is silent beside me as Damon makes a big show of having to unlock our door manually from inside. When I jerk the door open he smiles up at us with false apology.

'Sorry about that, I've been meaning to get it fixed.'

Ignoring him, I pull the seat forward so Caroline can climb in. When she's situated I push the seat back in place and get in. As an after thought I turn back to face her. 'Are you comfortable? Am I too far back?' She gives me an assessing look and then shakes her head. When I turn back in my seat I try to avoid Damon's humor filled eyes, and thinking about the silent conversation the two women in the back seat had been having when I looked back.


	18. Chapter 18

We're late for dinner.

Bonnie looks to be on the verge of tears, and Jeremy looks like he's ready to punch who ever it is that pushes her over the edge. She has yet to make even an attempt down the aisle because Damon and Caroline have not stopped arguing even once. It started in the car on the way over, Damon making little comments about the sudden change in partners.

_'I don't understand why we have to walk down the aisle in the order we're standing.'_

_'Because it will look tacky if we walk with whoever we'd like and stand where ever we want.'_

_'Hmm.'_

_'What?'_

_'So you'd rather be walking with somebody else too? Anyone in particular?'_

_'If it were up to me we wouldn't be walking with partners at all. I liked the idea of us walking down the aisle alone.'_

_'Weren't you?'_

_'What?'_

_'Walking alone? I mean that's how Bonnie got Stefan to agree, wasn't it Stef? Because Blondie didn't have a partner?'_

Nobody says anything after that. Proud of himself, Damon turns the radio up, Elena pushes his seat and Caroline and I just sit silently.

Then we got to the church. Caroline and Bonnie gave a quick run down of how everything was supposed to go, gave us or walking cues, instructed us on how fast to walk and etc. and then the music began. Jeremy stood alone at the front of the church while Elena took Matt's arm and they walked in perfect sync down the aisle before taking their respective places. They'd done it all perfectly. Then came Caroline and Damon. He gave her a cocky look while holding out his arm and she paused, just staring at it like it was dipped vervaine or something. The music stopped, Damon dropped his arm and Bonnie appeared from behind Veronica and I.

_'What's wrong?'_

_'Ask her.'_

_'Care?'_

_'What?'_

_'Are you ok?'_

_'Yeah.'_

_'Ok, then can we do this?'_

Caroline rolled her eyes as Bonnie gestured to Elena to go again. A few seconds later she and Matt were back with us and the music once again began to play. Once they disappear down the aisle, Caroline squares her shoulders and grabs Damon's arm without hesitation. He shoots me a look over his shoulder and they take their first few steps down the aisle. With a sigh of relief I look to Veronica and hold my arm out with a smile. As soon as her arm is wrapped around mine a shout sounds from a few feet away. When we look up, Damon is standing just inside a row of pews and Caroline is on the ground. I take a step toward her but Caroline jumps to her feet and takes a step away, never once taking her glare off of Damon . Bonnie comes up beside me.

_'Now what?'_

_'Ask him! He tripped me!'_

_'You stumbled.'_

_'I stumbled because you tripped me!'_

_'Or maybe because you weren't watching where you were going. You seemed a little distracted if you ask me.'_

Bonnie covered her face with her hands as they continued on arguing.

_'What am I going to do? They're just going to keep going until one of them kills the other.'_

_'I don't know.'_

_'I tried talking her out of it all day yesterday. She wont budge. What happened Stefan?'_

I'm getting tired of that question.

_'I don't know.'_

She shakes her head at the scene in front of us. One that Elena and Veronica have now defused. She gives me a sad smile and walks back into the waiting area. We try three more times, only on the last do they actually make it to the end of the aisle, but they're grumbling insults to one another the entire time. When they break apart to take their respective places, Caroline rips her arm from his and he laughingly takes his place beside Matt. She openly glares at him from her spot beside Elena. When Veronica and I part ways and I take my spot beside him, her eyes drift over to me for just a second. The Wedding March begins to play and Bonnie comes into view, she takes one look at us all, huffs and turns and walks away. Jeremy glares at Damon and then Caroline, before making his way down the aisle after her. Veronica sighs and goes to sit in the pews, Matt follows while shaking his head. Elena glares at Damon, appearing truly pissed off, before following after Jeremy and Bonnie. Damon turns to me and lifts a shoulder.

'What's with everyone?'

I give him a bored look and quickly move around him, intercepting Caroline just as she's about to shove him. I hold her wrist mid-air and Damon turns to her with an amused look.

'Come on.' I move my hand, and interlace her fingers with mine. She looks at me like I'm crazy.

'What? No.' Tired of her attitude, I ignore her and make my way down the aisle, pulling her along behind me. 'Stefan. Stop.' She argues while trying to free herself from my hold. I ignore her until I've pushed through a set of double doors leading out into the courtyard. I release her as soon as we're in the open air. 'What are you doing? We were in the middle of rehearsal!'

'Oh is that what that was? That's weird, because to the rest of us it looked like two grown adults acting like children.'

'Hey he's the one who started it!'

'Yeah, because he's Damon, Caroline. He's an ass.'

'No, this is more then that and you know it. The things he keeps saying,' She trails off angrily.

'That's what he does, he says and does things to get under your skin and right now you're feeding into every thing he throws at you.'

'What else am I supposed to do?'

'You know the answer to that already.' She gives me an assessing look, crosses her arms. 'You remember that this isn't about you, or Damon, or,' I search her face for a moment, this is the longest amount of time that I've gotten her to listen to me. Might as well take advantage of it. 'hating me.' Her posture stiffens and her focus shifts to just over my shoulder. 'This is about two people that you have known you're entire life, standing up and vowing to spend the rest of theirs with each other. So you suck it up and do what ever they need you to do, even if that means walking down the aisle with Damon. Which, by the way, was your idea.' I can't keep the hurt out of my voice and her eyes shift back to meet mine. 'So you push everything else to the side for right now and just be there for them. I guarantee, that all of that other stuff will still be there when you're done.'

For a long time she just stares at me, her face showing no signs of what she's thinking and it drives me crazy. After what feels like an eternity, she shakes her head. 'He's got to lay off.'

'I'm sure Elena's making sure of that as we speak.'

She nods thoughtfully then moves to go back inside. She stops at my side, unable to fully meet my eyes. Shes quiet for a moment then takes hold of the door handle. She breaths deeply, and finally makes eye contact. 'I don't really hate you.' She says softly then pulls the door open and disappears into the church.


	19. Chapter 19

I don't think I've ever really thought about what goes into a wedding. All of the time and work; all of the flowers, all of the people. Delivery men, caterers, bar tenders, serving staff, decorators, I don't think so many people had ever been on the property before. From the time that the sun came up, things had been chaos. Damon had shut Kat in his room before we left, it's where she'd been hiding since somebody broken an entire stack of dishes in the kitchen. The Church was somehow even more chaotic, probably because once we arrived we actually had to do something more then stand back and watch. It was overwhelming at first, there were people rushing around carrying flower arrangements and talking into headsets. I'd looked to Damon to see if it was just me that was feeling this way, but I came face to face with a door; he'd disappeared. Before I could really even process that fact, the door was yanked open and I was pulled through. Matt shut the door abruptly and turned to Damon and I.

 

'Did she see you?'

'Who?' Matt gives me an exasperated look before leading us up a set of stairs.

'Caroline. She's on a rampage.' He stops at the top of the stairs and pushes another door open. Jeremy is standing inside talking on his cell phone.

'OK. I know. I love you too. Bye.' He clicks the phone off and looks up at us with a sigh. 'They're not going to tell her yet.'

Damon walks over to a small table with glasses and a bottle of bourbon on it. I wonder idly about which of them snuck it in 'Tell her what?'

Matt sighs and sits down in the window seat. 'Something's wrong with the flower delivery, and nobody can get in touch with Pastor Taylor.'

'And there's nobody else? I mean, does it have to be him?'

Damon tips his glass at us. 'I'll do it.'

Jeremy gives him a look that clearly says he is not amused, then turns to me. 'There's nobody else.' He groans and pulls his hands through his hair. 'She's going to freak out, call it a sign or something.'

'What, because the only person who can perform the wedding, has disappeared? Wonder why.'

I just barely resist rolling my eyes. 'Damon, you're not helping.'

'I'm just saying, last time a Pastor went rouge in Mystic Falls, we were all almost killed and he blew up half the congregation.'

'Damon.' He holds up his hands in surrender, swallows the last of his drink and sets the glass down.

'I'll go see what I can find.' Jeremy gives him a grateful nod as he disappears back out the door.

'And I'll go see if there's anything I can do to help. Matt,' I give a small nod to the bottle on the table. 'find a way to help him relax a little.' Smiling, he gives me a nod. As I leave the room he's clapping Jeremy on the shoulder and telling him to sit down.

 

It takes me less then a minute to find Caroline. She's standing midway down the aisle, shouting at a man in a uniform and pointing somewhere over his head. When he sees me coming down the aisle he gives me pleading look and returns to nodding agreeably at Caroline. She's in shorts, a white tank top and sandals, but her hair is curled and pinned to the side, her make-up already done. I place my hand on the small of her back and she stops mid rant to turn to me. I give her the most encouraging smile I can. 'Hey.'

'Hey.' She says haltingly before turning back to the man in front of us. Before she can start up again I interrupt.

'What's going on? Matt said something about a delivery problem. Is there anything I can do?'

She lets out a loud laugh that echoes a bit against the ceiling. 'Oh is that what he said? A delivery problem? Try, they delivered half of the flowers for the Church to the house and misplaced a bridesmaid bouquet.'

She looks like she's going to bite the mans head off any second. 'And you are?' I hold my free hand out to him and after a nervous glance at Caroline he shakes it.

'Thomas Anderson. I'm here to deliver the candles.'

Caroline avoids my eyes. 'So, you don't work for the florist?'

'No sir. I just needed a signature.' He holds out his clipboard and points at the the blank line. I give Caroline a look and take the pen from the board. After scribbling my name, I give him an apologetic smile.

'Sorry about that. Thank you Thomas.'

He glances quickly at Caroline then back at me a nods. 'Sure.' He mumbles before rushing away.

Laughing, I move from Caroline's side to stand in front of her. 'Do you feel better?'

Sighing she steps away. 'What am I going to do? Bonnie is going to freak out.'

'Have you talked to the florist?'

'Yeah, somebody's bringing the flowers right now, that's not the only thing though. There's still the missing bouquet, the missing Pastor, I still haven't called to see how things are going at the house and I can't get the bakery on the phone, so I don't even know if the cake has been delivered.' She lets out wimpier and sits in the pew beside us. 'And I know that I'm forgetting something. I just can't remember what.' I watch her for a second before cautiously sitting beside her. When she doesn't automatically push me away, I take the chance and bring my arm around the back of the pew. She sighs and slumps against me, leaning her head on my shoulder. The action surprises me so it takes me a second before I bring my arm around her shoulders. Still she doesn't pull away.

That is until the silence is broken by the chime of my phone. She tenses, as if realizing her mistake and sits up. I pull my phone from my pocket. 'Damon found Pastor Taylor, apparently he got a flat on his way here. They're on their way now.' She gives me a disbelieving look and I laugh. 'Also, I was there when they delivered the cake – so, you know, one less thing to worry about.'

She keeps looking at me, that disbelief still in her eyes. She shakes her head and looks away with a sarcastic laugh. 'You just have all of the answers, don't you?'

'No.' I know she means it sarcastically, and I really don't even mean to answer, but the word leaves my mouth anyway. She looks up at me in surprise and this time, I'm the one to look away. Not knowing what else to say, I get up and make my way back toward the door and the set of stairs that lead to the bottle of bourbon.

* * *

 

 

Everything works out, the flowers show up in time, along with the missing bouquet, and Pastor Taylor is standing at the front of the church. Matt, Damon and I are standing behind the closed double doors waiting for the girls and I feel like my nerves are on end. Even Damon had sensed since getting back, that something was off, and he'd refrained from making any of his stupid jokes. I'm straightening my tie for the tenth time when a door down the hall opens and Veronica comes walking out. She walks straight up to Matt and gives him a hug and a kiss.

'They're a mess in there, I wanted to give them a second.' She gives me a smile. 'Hey partner.'

'Hey.'

'Do me a quick favor?'

'Yeah.' Anything to distract me from my own thoughts. She walks over and looks down at her feet.

'Walk with me a bit? Just so we don't trip walking down the aisle.' She gestures down to the bottom of her dress and the hem is in fact touching the ground. She gives me a smile and a wink. 'One of us won't recover from a broken neck.'

Laughing, I hold my arm out. 'Yeah, of course.' We do a few back and forth walks, before the door at the end of the hall opens again and Elena and Caroline walk out. Elena walks into Damon's arms and gives him a quick kiss. Caroline is standing a few feet away with her back to us all and talking into a headset. Veronica lets out a frightened gasp as I stumble, and I catch her just in time. Caroline turns to face us and Elena takes a step back from Damon.

What are you two doing?'

Damon smirks at me. 'Stefs demonstrating to us, what not to do.'

'What?' She laughs. Before he can say anything else, Caroline clears her throat and thrusts a bouquet into Elena's hands and then one into Veronica's. She grabs the last one off of the table for herself.

'OK, we're starting. Everyone get in place.' Elena gives Damon another quick kiss and takes Matt's arm. Caroline takes the headset off, smooths out her hair and takes Elena's place beside Damon.

Beside me, Veronica is continuously whispering the words _please don't fall, please don't fall_ , over and over. If she's talking to herself or begging me, I don't know. The music begins to play, and the doors open. As Damon and Caroline step forward, he lets out a quiet laugh.

'As long as Stefan doesn't get distracted again, I'm sure you guy's will be fine.' And then they're making their way down the aisle.

Veronica takes a deep breath and pleads one last time that we not fall, before we follow them down to our places.

The song changes and Bonnie appears at the other end of the aisle, she pauses for a second before slowly making her way toward us. Toward Jeremy. She looks beautiful, that's for sure, and everyone's eyes are glued on her, but something in me pulls my gaze away, to the woman standing almost directly across from me. She's beautiful, I've always known that. Her eyes are filled with tears and her smile is wide as she happily watches her best friend walk down the aisle. I turn my attention to where everyone else is focused. Jeremy holds out his hand to Bonnie and leads her up the few steps to stand before the Pastor. Everyone in the pew's sits down.

'Dearly beloved,' Pastor Taylor begins, and once again my attention shifts. This time, her eyes meet mine and it's like a punch to the gut. She stares back for a second, and I'm unable to read the look on her face. After a moment, she pointedly turns back to Bonnie and Jeremy, and I do the same.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda heavy! Skip if you want.
> 
> Hey everybody ... I know its been a while (can we spell understatement) since my last update and I am so very sorry about that. The past two years in general have been ... I cant even find a word to describe them ... But the last year alone has just been ... All I can think of is ... Loss. The last year for me has just been ... Heartbreaking loss. And no this isnt the sympathy card here ... Something I am now all to aware that people like to play which is just disgusting ... Im not going to go into detail ... You dont need that ...I just felt I should partially explain the absence.... I feel like this last year has just .... Like its literally something you would find in a book or movie ... Because there couldnt be any way pain like this actually exists right? It has to be pretend .... Well its not, it is so very real and it has taken me into some dark places .... Ive sort of lost all of my ... to write or create, whatever ... I honestly forgot about this place for a little while ... This place I've always come to, to escape ... And as i was stuck in traffic on the freeway just now ... I was looking through some files on my cloud thing and I came across this story ... It was just sitting there unfinished (along with many many others) but with two fully written chapters which had never even been posted along with a nearly finished work in progress. So here I am sitting in my car in a Mc Donald's parking lot (totally serious) posting it because ... Like I said Ive found myself in a very dark place ... And i know its just a story i partially made up but ... I cant let go of the possibility that it might be something more. Maybe its someones way of handing me the first piece out of a million broken ones.....so uh here it is .... kind of short I suppose, definitely un-edited and like I said ... Being posted from my phone so ... If theres any problems ... Ill try to get to them .... 
> 
>  
> 
> For all of the lost pieces of my heart that are still looking after me in Heaven....

 

* * *

 

'Hey.'

Pulling my eyes away from the dance floor where Bonnie and Jeremy are swaying happily to the music, I smile up at Elena.

'Hey.'

She takes a seat beside me, and follows my gaze as I turn my attention back to the newly married couple.

'What does it say about me, that I'm a little bit jealous of them right now?' I laugh and shake my head.

'I think we're all a little jealous of them right now.' I can feel her watching me and when I turn to her, she smiles wide. 'What?' She juts her chin forward, a gesture to something behind me.

'Go ask her to dance.'

Following her gaze, I huff out a laugh. Damon and Caroline are standing at the bar, silent, as they stare out at the room. He reaches behind himself as the bartender sets two glasses down, and takes the smaller one for himself while handing her the wine glass. Neither of them move, yet still remain silent as they drink. I take a drink of my own.

'What does it say about me, that I keep pushing the women in my life to the point of Damon?' I smile to let her know that I'm joking, but she doesn't laugh. Instead, she tilts her head to the side, and gives me a scolding look.

'You know it's not like that.'

'I do, I know. But I mean, come on.' I laugh humorlessly and gesture across the room at them.

She laughs and takes a champagne flute from a waiter walking by, while repeating her suggestion. 'Go ask her to dance.'

'Maybe you haven't noticed, but she kind of blindingly hates me at the moment.' She rolls her eyes.

'She doesn't hate you.'

'So she says. Yet here I am, being avoided like the plague,' I wave my hand in the direction of the bar. 'while she drinks with Damon.'

'She's trying to get to you and it's working.'She laughs. 'Look, I don't know what happened between the two of you in LA,' That makes two of us. Bitterly, I take a large drink. 'but I do know Caroline,' Her tone softens and she smiles. 'and I know that look.' She points at me with a smile.

'What look?'

'This wounded puppy look that you have going on. It's killing you that she's not talking to you.'

'It's not _killing_ me.' She laughs at my childish retort. 'Well, I can guarantee that she's just as miserable as you are.'

'And how do you know that?'

Her features shift and she tilts her glass toward them, giving me a look like the answer should be obvious. 'She's drinking with Damon.' We both let out a short laugh, then both fall silent. As I think over her suggestion, I find my attention being pulled back across the room to the bar where Matt and Veronica have joined them. Caroline's head falls back as she laughs; she looks happy. The sight makes me smile. 'Stefan.' I drop my gaze quickly, feeling like I've been caught doing something I shouldn't have been. 'I know that you guys are friends, and I know that you're going to say I'm wrong, but,' I look up as she pauses, there's an uncomfortable look on her face. 'it's OK to have feelings for her.'

''How much have _you_ had to drink?' I laugh it off, feeling just as uncomfortable as she looks. She rolls her eyes, tilts her head and gives me an admonishing look. After a moment, she goes on like I hadn't even spoken.

' I'm not saying that in a, I give you my permission, kind of way, because you don't need my permission. I'm just saying that, if you're afraid of losing your friendship, I don't think you need to be. I mean, that's what you guys do right? Things go bad, you get through it together. '

'Yeah, because we're friends.'

'And you think that, that's all it can be, _why_? Because it's easy? Love isn't supposed to be hard.'

Suddenly more irritated then the situation probably warrants, I sit up straight.

'What is wrong with everybody?'

'What do you mean?'

'Why do you all keep pushing this? From the second I came back here, everyone has had some kind of opinion. Caroline and I are friends. If we're even that anymore. So why are you trying to make it more complicated then it already is?'

Her eyes narrow. 'Because it is more complicated then that, Stefan.' She shifts, her posture softening. 'And OK, I do agree that some people could have been more subtle about it.' I can't help but scoff at that. 'But I've known Caroline my whole life. Do you really think I wouldn't have seen the signs a long time ago? That I wouldn't have said something earlier? But she reacted, pretty much how you are right now, so I let it go.'

'Is there any chance you're going to let it go now?'

'What I don't understand, is why you're both fighting so hard.' The agitation in her voice only fuels my irritation and a small flame of anger suddenly ignites in my chest. I have to fight to keep my tone down, so as to not attract any unwanted eavesdroppers.

'A few months ago, I had a best friend who I spoke to almost everyday. Who could come visit for weeks at a time. Then I came back here, and everybody started with their questions and comments. And now? Now my best friend? Won't even speak to me, let alone be alone in the same room as me. That's why I'm fighting so hard. Because if I have any chance of getting her back, all of this has to stop.' My tirade doesn't appear to have the effect I'd intended. She smiles. Somehow finding a way to convey an array of emotions in one small, strange, smile. It knocks me off-kilter. My anger is replaced by confusion and the coiled tension in my shoulders disappears. 'What?' Her smile widens a bit and her voice is soft.

'You're afraid.'

'What?'

'That she doesn't feel the same. That's what you think is happening. That she's rejecting you.'

I find myself sitting back in my seat, and it feels a lot like I'm retreating, so I force myself to sit up straight. 'How did you get that from what I just said?'

'You admitted to fighting it.'

'No I didn't.'

'Yes, you did. And I get it, why you would think that, but you're wrong, Stefan, she’s scared too.' That catches my attention.

'Of what?'

'Think about everything you know about Caroline. What you know about her past relationships, her parents relationship. Her need to control every situation down to the last detail. She goes into things looking for everything that can and will go wrong, then either figures out a way to fix it, or pushes it off as a lost cause. All she can see right now is the worst possible outcome, losing your guys` friendship. So she's doing the only thing she can think of to avoid it, and that's to push you as far away as she can until she can force herself to stop feeling how she feels about you. You know her Stefan. So if you would just think about it, you'd see that I'm right.'

The room feels a bit like it's spinning and my mouth feels dry. I swallow the last of the bourbon in my glass in one big swallow. It's not the cheap stuff available at the bar, but the bottle Damon had given them to keep under the counter. It doesn't help. I make the mistake of letting my eyes meet hers and she gives me a sympathetic smile and then lets out a breathy laugh and shakes her head.

'Look, you can't imagine how badly I did not want to be the one to have this conversation with you. I swore I wouldn't be. I mean, I know how awkward it can get talking about Damon; or, how strange this past week has been with all of us living under the same roof. But you do it all anyway because that's who you are. And while I agree that now is probably not the ideal time to be having it,' Her entire body shifts oddly and her eyes fill with a sort of worried sympathy. 'I felt like I was running out of time.' Her words have me glancing back over at Caroline. So I'm not the only one sensing it then? Her urge to run. 'So even though it is incredibly uncomfortable,' She laughs nervously. 'I figure it's about time that I put my feelings aside, and do for you what you've done for me so many times. Tell you what you don't want to hear, and make us both insanely uncomfortable.' We both laugh and as it dies down she shakes her head and smiles. 'The two of you are so focused on making sure that you don't do anything to make one another unhappy, that you're completely blind to the fact that what makes you guys happy is each other. And no, not like friends do. I don't think Veronica lights up around Bonnie or I, the way the two of you do. And I'm pretty sure Matt would never spend three days digging up half the town looking for a teddy bear, just because Jeremy felt guilty.' I choose not to question where she came upon that little piece of information. 'I do know that Caroline never looked as happy as she did on the days she was leaving to go visit you, and never as sad as the days she got back. I know that she never would have gone on that trip, put herself first, if you hadn't talked her into it; even if you only did it because you were scared of Klaus hurting her.' Surprised, I finally look up from my glass. Guilt hits me hard in the pit of my stomach. She lifts a shoulder in a half shrug, as if it's nothing. 'I put two and two together. Damon told me about the bracelet and the engraving.' She looks down, runs the tips of her fingers over the rim of the champagne flute in her hand. 'I also know that, you only came back here because she asked you to; and that despite what happened in the past, you and Damon and I, we're good. We can sit and have dinner together, live under the same roof, have this conversation, and I know that that's because of her. Because even when she's ignoring you, or yelling at you, or telling you that she hates you, just seeing her smile,' She gestures to the the group across the room. She and Damon are bickering but there's an amused smile on her face. She gestures to my face when I turn back to her. 'makes all of that other stuff not matter.' We sit in silence, everything she's said, rolling over and over in my head. My chest feels tight, like I need to breathe, even though I know that I don't. I breathe anyway. After a minute of silently watching me, a slow smile appears on her face. ' _So._ I told you that I'd be asking you again later.’ It takes me a second to catch on to what she’s talking about. ‘ _This_ is later. And _this_ is me asking.'


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One again, kind of short and very much un-edited.

______________________________________________________

I'm holding my breath as Elena and I make our way over to the bar. Damon smiles wide upon seeing us.

'Oh look who it is.' His overly joyful tone causes everyone to turn and face us. Caroline seems genuinely surprised by our sudden appearance so whatever worries I'd had about her having possibly been listening, disappear, 'The two of you seemed to have been having a nice, long, chat.' His tone tells me he's joking, but also that he had listened in enough to not feel threatened. Elena, apparently sensing the same thing, gives him a scolding look as she comes up to stand beside him. He gives her a cheeky smile and drapes his arm over her shoulders. She gives him an amused shake of her head then wraps one arm around his waist and leans up to give him a quick kiss. 

Laughing as they fall into their own little world, I turn to Bonnie and Jeremy. I smile down at the grinning bride. 'Have I mentioned how beautiful you look?'

Jeremy makes an awe noise and claps me on the shoulder. 'Thanks man. You don't look so bad yourself.' Everyone laughs and Bonnie jabs him in the ribs. 'What?' He asks playfully and she turns in his arms.

'He was talking to me.'

I can feel Caroline shift beside me as she quietly takes a step away. I can practically see her scan the room for the closest exit. Before she can disappear, I reach back and grab her hand. She stumbles but doesn't pull away.

'Oh, was he?' He gives her a quick once over then shrugs. 'Yeah I guess you look alright too.' Bonnie slaps his shoulder then leans up to give him a kiss. They too fall into their own space and suddenly the room feels suffocating.

Veronica and Matt have once again disappear to the dance floor, which is funny considering a few hours ago, she was terrified by the thought of death by stilettos. I suppose that shows what a few drinks will do to you. I shift my hand in hers as I turn, lacing our fingers together. When I face her fully, her eyes are wide and she has the look of someone caught in a trap. I give her the most encouraging smile I can muster despite the somersaults my stomach is doing.

'Dance with me?' When it looks like she's going to argue and her hand twitches like she's going to pull away, I tighten my hold and tug her forward a bit. 'Let me rephrase that. You're going to dance with me. And you aren't going to argue because it's at the brides request. Right Bonnie?' I don't take my eyes off of her and her irritation with being put on the spot, makes me feel a little bit better.

'Right.' Bonnie laughs behind me.

Her glare shifts quickly from me to Bonnie and my smile widens. 'You can't say no to the bride.' I taunt playfully.

She cuts her narrowed glare back to me. 'Fine.' Her irritation is betrayed by the embarrassment in her voice. Before she can change her mind I lead her away.

The upbeat tempo of the song changes as we come to a stop on the dance floor, a slow tune replaces it. She drops her head to the side, looking at me as if I'd planned it. I laugh and with a sigh she stands straight, brings her arms up in perfect form and keeps enough room between us to be safe at a seventh grade dance. I place my hand on her waist and take a step forward while pulling her in, closing the gap. She takes a deep breath, gives me a warning look, but doesn't step away. Slowly we begin to move in sync with the music. After a few seconds of tense silence she clears her throat.

'So, did you and Elena have a nice talk?' Her accusing tone has a smile tugging at my lips. She narrows her eyes. 'I wasn't listening, I just happened to notice.'

'I noticed you to.' She looks taken aback for a brief second before bowing her head, effectively hiding her face. 'And Damon. The two of you have spent quite a bit of time together tonight.' Almost like she'd been struck, her head snaps up and she gives me an incredulous look. 'Oh, so you're the only one allowed to imply dumb things? OK.' I can see the smile tugging at her lips and she turns away again to hide it. I twirl her out and bring her back in, closer this time. My hand settles on her lower back.

'So what were you guys talking about?'

'Bonnie and Jeremy.' I'm not sure why I feel the need to lie, maybe because I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with her reaction.

'The ceremony was beautiful.' She sighs happily.

'It was. You did an amazing job.'

'All I did was yell at the right people.'

'That's not true. You have a gift. I can't even imagine what your own wedding will look like.'

She tenses. I've said something wrong. There are a few moments of silence before she speaks. It's soft, thoughtful, almost like she is talking to herself. 'When I was little, I wanted this huge, extravagant wedding. Then when I got a little older I, I decided that I wanted a small ceremony. You know that clearing a few miles from here? With all the flowers and that huge oak tree? Just a couple of close friends and my Mom.' She trails off softly, relaxes a bit.

It takes a minute for me to form words. I know the clearing, I can see it in my head. 'And now?'

'Hmm?'

'You said that was what you wanted, what do you want now?'

'What do you mean?'

'When you get married.' She tenses again, pulls back enough that I can see the pain in her eyes. ' What's wrong?'

'Can we talk about something else?'

The song changes and when she doesn't pull away, I have to make a conscious effort to not actually thank her for staying. 'I like your dress.'

'Thank you.' She says softly before letting out a nervous laugh. 'It's the first one Bonnie liked. There were like three more after it. I didn't even know she'd changed her mind back until a few days ago.' I smile as she trails off and lets out another small laugh.

'Well, you look beautiful. Not that that's much of a surprise.'

There's a short, heavy, pause before she lets out a rush of air. 'Stefan,' I can hear the panic in her voice, she wants to run.

'OK, I'm sorry. Can we just dance? Please? I won't say anything else. I promise.'

She takes a deep breath, nods, and relaxes back into my arms. We dance the entirety of the next two songs in silence. When the third song starts and she tenses again, I realize that my time is up.

She has a hand to her head and a timid smile on her face when she steps back. 'I think I'm going to head in, it's been a long day.' I don't know what to say, the thought that she's about to disappear again weighs down heavy on my chest. She drops her hand from her forehead still smiling softly. 'Thank you for the dance.'

I'm left standing alone on the dance floor for entirely too long before I get shoved roughly. I turn to the couple dancing behind me. Damon smiles smugly, and Elena shoves him before giving me a look and pointing at the exit.

'Go!'

Right.


End file.
